How to irritate a marathon runner
By Chrissy | Today's run: 0. But I did a tiny 1.23 mile hike!
Now, I don’t want y’all to take this wrong way, but … I’m sooo glad Larissa’s knee hurts.
Hey, I said not to take it the wrong way! I don’t mean I’m glad she’s in pain, or that she has to give up on her increasingly impressive running goals. That totally sucks. I am, however, glad that she isn’t going to become one of those elite marathon runners just yet. Because then she’d hate me.
But Chrissy, you say. How can anyone hate you? You’re so adorably and nonthreateningly pathetic.
I know!!! But here’s the thing: Marathon runners are snobs.
Apparently people who are really good at running marathons can’t stand people who suck at running marathons. And they’d like nothing better than for all marathon organizers to yank the orange cones off the roads after a predetermined and sufficiently short time so that the “stragglers” are forced to give up or risk being run down by a Mack truck. And after reading this story in The New York Times the other day, I wouldn’t be surprised if an elite marathoner was actually driving the Mack truck, all hopped up on Gatorade and Gu.
Now, I understand that these people take running very seriously. But do they have to be so snotty about it? Like this woman quoted in The New York Times:
Longtime marathoners like Julia Given, a 46-year-old marketing director from Charlottesville, Va., still find ways to differentiate the “serious runners” from those at the back of the pack. … “I always ask those people, ‘What was your time?’ If it’s six hours or more, I say, ‘Oh great, that’s fine, but you didn’t really run it.’ ”
Can’t you just hear the scorn in her voice? Geez. I mean, just because I run at the same pace that many people stroll, and just because I start feeling barfy after only a couple of miles, and just because the only thing keeping me motivated in a race is the knowledge that there’s going to be a catered meal at the finish line — does that really make me worthy of your derision?
OK, so maybe it does. But whatever! I’ll run a marathon as slowly as I want. You can’t stop me! In fact, reading these marathoners’ complaints makes me want to go sign up for a marathon, not train for it, walk the first 5 miles or so, stop for lunch, run a couple errands, maybe check out a garage sale or two, and then about 15 minutes before they close the course, take a cab to the finish line. Then I’d spend the rest of my life parading around in my commemorative “Super Difficult Marathon 2009″ T-shirt, bragging to everyone I know that I do marathons, just like Paula Radcliffe and all those Kenyans, and that I’ll probably be going to the Olympics soon, because obviously the standards for marathon running can’t be too high if even I can do it.
I hope Julia Given doesn’t own a Mack truck.
3 Comments
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I’m going to start being snobby in every race I run. Like the upcoming 2.62 mile maraFUNrun. Anyone who finishes behind me I’ll just point and laugh at and say they’re a big loser who shouldn’t even bother running. I don’t care if the person is an 8-year-old kid or a 90-year-old granny. Stay outta my race! There’s obviously not room on the roads for all of us.
I support you in your marathon goals and Julia Given sounds like she has low self-esteem.
Just a note to set the record straight. Julia Given was miss-quoted. I was there when she was interviewed.
Julia’s quote was taken after she stated how we love the larger marathons and think the race directors have done a good job managing races with racers at all paces, The reported prompted her about how all marathon finishers get medals, even those “slow: ones. Julia responded with” Well, if YOU are worried about that, then ask them their time” – she did not say she does this.. she did not say that finishing in 6 hours is not running
Julia does not ask everyone their time. Julia is one of the most encouraging and friendly runners I know. The New York Times reporter is not a runner. She has never trained for and run a race, and never experienced the support of running with a large group where everyone supports one and another. I might suggest she try it before writing another ungrounded article. Once she experiences the support and camaraderie of fellow runners, I think she will change her tune.
Julia has experienced this and promotes this at every chance she gets. She has run more than 15 marathons and she has raised over $20K for charity running them. She supports her slower husband (me) with a tremendous amount of encouragement and training support.
Thanks for your consideration