I hate cheeseburgers, starting now
By Chrissy | Today's run: 0 miles (I'm in Fresno, where it's too hot and scary to run)
When we first started this blog, a co-worker asked me whether I was planning to change my diet now that I’m training for a half-marathon. That co-worker doesn’t know me very well, so his question made me wonder: Does my reputation for eating junk food proceed me? Or did he just smell the Doritos on my breath?
I hadn’t planned a drastic change, although I’d been trying to eat better for a while. By “better,” of course, I mean, “not so many cheeseburgers.” Which is really hard for me, not only because cheeseburgers are delicious, but also because cheeseburgers and I go way back — 15 years, as a matter of fact. That’s when I started working at Burger King No. 3731 and incorporating french fries and Dr Pepper into every meal. I was actually named Employee of the Year once, which I’m pretty sure was not because of my expert burger-making abilities or my superior customer-service skills, but because of my dedication to eating my body weight in Whoppers every single week.
My diet isn’t that much better these days, although I’ve been slowly trying to work exotic health foods into the mix. You know, like fruits and vegetables. I actually go so far as to have them delivered to my doorstep on a regular basis at an exorbitant cost. Yes, I make the fruit come to ME. That way, I have to eat them, because they’re sitting right there, and also because you can’t let a $5 apple go bad. What a foolish waste of money that would be!
But the reason I bring this up is, I’ve been running three to four times a week for a month now (my runs were a little more sporadic before then) but I haven’t noticed any physical differences. I weigh the same amount. I see no discernible sign of muscles. And I’m still getting winded really quick. Sure, I can run farther than I could a month ago, but not as far as my training program thinks I should be able to run. And now, I think I’ve figured out why:
According to a new study, cheeseburgers are making me slow and lame, and also, if you allow me to extrapolate the data a bit, could possibly be blamed for my humiliating treadmill fiasco.
If these scientist guys are right, and cutting the fat out of your diet is really that effective, I could be running 50 percent farther in less than two weeks! If I were a rat, anyway. Would it work for humans, too? There’s only one way to find out …
So, here’s what’s going to happen — no more cheeseburgers. At least, not until the half-marathon’s over. Then all bets are off. But until then? I’ll be cheeseburger-free.
Can’t make any promises about the Doritos, though.
4 Comments
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I think I’m shocked. Yeah. I’m sure of it. I betting that you will feel a difference. Be it good or bad is yet to be seen. Good luck and I promise I won’t try and tempt you with a burger run to In-n-Out. We could meet Jen and go to Target. That would be great fun. Oh wait, cancel that. Good luck anyway.
I used to work at TGI Fridays in San Diego’s Mission Valley. We used to get a good deal on meals after our shift. So, after a lunch shift and before a run at the beach, I settled in for a Friday’s cheeseburger. It was good. I drove on to the beach looking forward to a 5.5-miler from PB Pier to Mission Beach jetty and back. No problemo. Until I started to digest lunch. Not a pretty lunch. And it pretty much ended any hope of cheeseburgers and runs.
When you are running you should imagine a giant cheeseburger is chasing you!
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