When I was a kid, I had a thing for mustaches.

Not in a weird way, mind you; I just liked mustaches.

In fact, whenever I started to draw a picture of a guy, he’d inevitably wind up with  this thing that looked like a cat tail above his mouth. Nothing fancy. Just your tasteful, little-bit-of-hair-above-the-lip-but-not-too-crazy mustache.

And, of course, I wanted one of my own. But unlike my friend Mel — who had a full beard and mustache in the 7th grade — I couldn’t grow facial hair. So the best I could do was make a fake one — usually with yarn or whatever fell on the floor after a haircut.

So you can imagine how excited I was when Yankee slugger Jason Giambi sported a retro ’stache, thinking, from a scientific standpoint, that more hair would help his hand-eye coordination. And then you could imagine how disappointed I was when I learned he’d shaved it because, contrary to everything we’ve learned, mustaches really can’t help you hit a baseball better.

Back in the day, the Major Leagues was always a reliable place to find a good mustache. So much that some have even made lists of top ten baseball mustaches. (What — no Reggie Jackson?)

There have been good mustaches on TV and film, except that, really, when you talk about actor mustaches, there’s really one that’s far superior to all others.

In music, the Eagles gave us great mustaches. But check out this facial hair by Lindsey Buckingham. But, of course, just like everything else in music, the Beatles ruled when it came to facial hair.

So I’ve had this mustache for about 15 years now. My wife and daughter have never seen me without it. Heck, I could have a tattoo* on my lip, and they’d never know.

So I recently told myself that maybe it’s time, like Jason Giambi, to give it up. To go smooth. To hack the ’stache and be free of it all. 

I said that to myself. But then, all of the sudden, I was like: “Why are you talking to yourself?” And then I added: “About mustaches?”

And it was then and there that I decided to keep the mustache. Because, like Lionel Richie, I believe in the mustache. I see value in the mustache as a cultural icon. And I know I must carry on that tradition.

Because, really, when all my heroes let me down (both John Oates and Tom Selleck have shaved) who will be left to carry the torch?

* of a mustache

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