San Luis Obispo High School students Drew Garrett and Lauren Willey have received a torrent of online ridicule for their brilliantly shallow song, “Hot Problems.”
But if I had to wager, I’d bet the vast majority of their critics would trade places with them faster than you can say, “Hot girls we have problems too. We’re just like you, except we’re hot.”
As of Friday, the video had tallied a tidy 9,170,143 hits — probably 9,170,000 more than the vast majority of the postings on YouTube, which tend to be narrowly targeted, poorly produced and entirely un-entertaining.
It was almost immediately declared the worst song of all time and sparked comparisons to Rebecca Black, whose catchy little ditty “Friday” was the gold standard for supposedly awful, self-produced music up until now.
To put the girls’ accomplishment into perspective, they are already a third of the way to matching the total number of hits for the “Friday” video, which is now at more than 29 million views and has been out since September.
Also almost immediately, the SLO High duo’s song began to inspire covers, and if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, these two should be blushing.
Do a search for the title on YouTube now, and you can find an animated parody, an homage by a fat, middle-aged guy dancing in his underwear and more than a few renditions from aspiring singers and musicians who actually have skills.
Yes, it’s pretty clear Drew and Lauren aren’t exactly a couple of songbirds. They aren’t wordsmiths either.
But who said they were trying to be? Who said they should be?
Maybe, they’re a couple of budding comedians, in which case, their creation can be judged no less than a smash success.
Or maybe, they’re just two teen girls goofing off, being ridiculous for the sake of it.
What better time — and what tougher audience — for such silliness than high school, where your slate is still blank but nastiness breeds like malaria and most attempts to isolate your face from the crowd result in a figurative punch in the nose?
Either way, hopefully, they’re seeing some return on their modest creative investment.
After all, those YouTube eyeballs are worth something. I can go to iTunes right now and buy that song along with my Men Without Hats downloads. (Those dudes only had but a single notable tune also.)
And even if they only scrape out a few bucks (or no bucks), they were on national TV.
If nothing else, Drew and Lauren can say, for one week, millions of people were talking about us.
They weren’t talking about you, Mr. Bitter Secretly Jealous Anonymous Commenter.
Which brings us to the most significant achievement these girls can now boast: Internet immortality.
How many everyday teens can claim that? How many teens wish they could?
This is not your mere 15 minutes of fame from days of old.
This kind of one-hit wonder will live on in all its glory or infamy for years to come, lurking and searchable, a click away.
One day, when they’re old and gray, they’ll be able to pour a few cups of hot chocolate, gather their grandkids around them, and do a little Web search, pulling up that funny video they made way back in 2012, when they were in high school, when they were the “hot girls.”
And that’s a pretty cool thing.
Cool enough, dare I say, for an encore?
What do you think of “Hot Problems”? Share your thoughts here.
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