She Likes to Watch

Ten or 15 minutes into “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” I found myself musing, “What the hell has Gore Verbinski been smoking?”
It may have been the sight of our intrepid pirates confronting Chow Yun Fat on the docks of Singapore, as the big, bad warlord calls for “More steam! More steam!”
Or Capt. Jack Sparrow confronting his fractured psyche — so to speak — on his stranded ship.
Or maybe, just maybe, the army of stone crabs towing the tattered Black Pearl across the dunes. That’s right. Crustaceans. That are rocks.
(Not sure how wicked Jack’s watery grave morphed into a salt flat? Me neither.)
It’s difficult to settle into a film when the opening sequence features a small, ragged boy being hanged. Yikes!
And the movie’s machinations nearly put me in a doze.
The plot of the third “Pirates” movie is as tangled as Davy Jones’ tentacles.
Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) wants to save his father from eternity on a ghost ship. Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) wants his heart back. And Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) wants to stop the British colonial government from ruining high adventure on the high seas.
Not to mention the sexual tension between Turner, Jack (Johnny Depp) and the always ravishing Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley).
There are so many double- and triple-crosses, I wonder whether the actors themselves got confused.
What’s worse, the much-anticipated cameo by Keith Richards consisted of little more than some wise looks and a little noodling on a guitar. Mr. Ed, bless his equine soul, would have put in a more convincing performance.
There are pluses: Fantastic special effects; a great “girl power” message; and a number of very funny sight gags — usually courtesy of the monkey and our wacky band.
Action sequences are longer and gorier than “Dead Man’s Chest.” (Though, thankfully, there’s no 20-minute sword fight in a giant wheel.) And Johnny Depp is, well, wonderful.
As for Gore Verbinski, I’ll have what he’s having.

– Sarah L.