She Likes to Watch

Dude, where’s my movie?

I’m inventing a new phrase, friends and neighbors. It’s called “trailer betrayal.”

Trailer betrayal is the sad state of affairs that occurs when a movie trailer promises things the film itself cannot possibly deliver. Hilarious gags. Fantastic action sequences. Thrilling climaxes.

When you watch the movie, however, the dialogue falls flat, the plot limps by, and the fight scenes are cheesy, boring and overdrawn. Rest assured, moviegoers. All the best jokes are in that two-and-a-half-minute reel.

The trailer for “Pineapple Express,” the latest from super-producer Judd Apatow, falls into the same group.

If you believe the hype, Seth Rogen and James Franco are the funniest stoner duo since Cheech and Chong and “Pineapple Express” is a comedic masterpiece — a slick, smart yukfest undercut with constant laughs and great tunes.

The movie looks good. Almost too good. And there’s a reason for that.

In reality, “Pineapple Express” is an confused mishmash of stoner comedy and action thriller. Torn between oddball humor, high times and violent he-man posturing, it never quite gets off the ground.

Stoner comedies, such as “Half Baked” and “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle,” succeed when they’re silly. Really silly.

Some of the best scenes in “Pineapple Express” rely on that time-honored formula and shine.

Not suprisingly, Rogen and Franco (reunited for the first time since “Freaks and Geeks”) have an easy chemistry as a pot-smoking process server and his equally clueless dealer.

Between frequent tokes, they go on weed-fueled flights of fancy, suffer from pot-flavored paranoia and occasionally remember they’re on the run from murderous gangsters. Watching the duo freaking out in the forest or engaged in a brutal fight with a pudgy suburban drug dealer (Danny McBride) are almost worth the price of admission.

Other scenes feel straight out of a ’70s blaxploitation movie, or an ’80s action flick. (If drug czar Gary Cole and bad cop Rosie Perez were in those movies, in fact, they’d be bumping tonsils for a full five minutes instead of merely trading saucy looks.)

There are memorable lines, laugh-out-loud sight gags and lots of bro love — enough to make some of my fellow moviegoers squirm in their seats.

Any time “Pineapple Express” really gets rocking, however, an errant twist or needless subplot mars the flow.

The movie also fails to utilize some of its strongest talent. One glimpse at Bill Hader’s stoned Army private or thugs Kevin Corrigan and Craig Robinson (Darryl from “The Office”) and it’s clear that they deserve more screen time.

It could be that “Pineapple Express” is brilliant, and I’m not nearly high enough to see it.

But with a confusing plot, uneven humor and some uncomfortably vicious scenes, I think there’s a better explanation.

Screenwriters Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are simply one toke over the line.

***

Photo courtesy of MovieWeb.com.