Movie list-o-mania

10:13 am action movie, science fiction

Condorman, the world’s most pathetic superhero

Read my list: From “Condorman” to  “Raiders of the Last Ark”

I love lists.

It may the last vestiges of a Type A personality or a tiny twinge of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but I’ve always found the making and reading of lists rather enjoyable. There’s something comforting about being able to organize movies or circus performers or dried beans into different compartments.

It’s order in a disorderly world. Structure in the face of chaos.

Naturally, I tend to take my love of lists a bit too far and clog my Mozilla Bookmarks with all sorts of random crap. Why, I almost have to make a to-do list to tackle it all!

Here, in a vain attempt at fall cleaning, are a number of movie-related lists. Enjoy.

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Time Out London has the skinny on cinema’s lamest superheroes, including Disney’s Condorman, Howard the Duck and that guy from “Unbreakable.”

My favorite failure, sadly not included on this list, is “Puma Man” — a whiny, wimpy white guy who has cat-like abilities (like a puma) and flies (unlike a puma). Rent the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ version and chuckle over Donald Pleasence’s pronunciation.

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Maxim magazine lists the most abused action heroes in movie history, from Clark Kent in “Superman II” to Jesus in “The Passion of the Christ.” Dr. Jeffrey Manko, a New York-based medical consultant, assesses the damage.

Since this is, indeed, Maxim, there’s a fair amount of swear words and general crudeness. Consider yourself warned.

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Science fiction’s fake accents get a thorough tongue lashing by io9.com, which lists the genre’s most ear-piercing fakes.

While Brits and Australians tend to do a fair job of mimicking American voices (case in point: Scotland’s Kevin McKidd in “Journeyman”), their relatives on the other side of the pond are simply terrible. Canadians and Yanks apparently have no idea what the English or the Irish sound like — and they’re perfectly willing to mangle every syllable.

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Meanwhile, Brandon Nolta of CriticsRant.com has a bone to pick with the screenwriters responsible for bad movie dialogue.

He only mentions five movies here, but the Good Lord knows the list could go on and on.

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And finally, in honor of Hat Friday, here’s a list of awesome hat movies.

In my opinion, Indiana Jones’ battered fedora will always be the coolest hat in cinematic history. Of course, just donning a topper is a sign of personal style.

Love. Laugh. Wear a hat.

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