She Likes to Watch

Trebek this: I could be a contestant on “Jeopardy!”

I took my place at the end of the long line snaking through the Santa Maria Town Center with fairly low expectations.

I wanted to have fun. I wanted to show off my smarts. I wanted to win some free swag from one of television’s most popular game shows.

Turns out, the powers that be had other plans.

The “Jeopardy!” Brain Bus was in Santa Maria on Friday night, looking for new contestants to go on the quiz show. The current incarnation, hosted by Alex “The Silver Fox” Trebek, celebrates 25 years this fall.

About 1,000 would-be geniuses sat down to take a 10-question quiz.

Sound easy? Well, apparently the pre-test was harder than you’d think. Most of the crowd either skipped the test, failed to qualify, or missed a couple questions and got no further.

The rest of us, roughly 80 in all, showed up bright and early Saturday morning at the Santa Ynez Valley Marriott hotel in Buellton. There, we chatted with the Brain Bus gurus about the application process, got pointers about screen presence and buzzer pressing, and sat down for a grueling 50-question test.

I’m barred from sharing the actual contents of the test but I can tell you the subjects ranged from ancient Greek literature to modern European history, from Shakespeare to science. Each answer had to be jotted down in a mere eight seconds. (That’s three seconds more than the time allowed in the actual game.)

“What is ‘freakin’ hard,’ Alex?”

As the Brain Bus crew tallied points, Kelly Miyahara from the show’s Clue Crew fielded questions about “Jeopardy!” (Turns out Trebek used to take the same test every year to keep his wits sharp. Pretty impressive.) Then the Brain Bus gals returned to announce the nine finalists who were to head to the next round.

I had left some spaces blank and made a few obvious gaffes , so I was all set to pick up my ball and head home when the Brain Bus gals called my name.

Wow. A couple fellow contestants whooped. The rest scowled. And I felt the contents of my guts drop to my shoes.

My fellow finalists included Buellton’s public works director, a flooring salesman, a stand-up comic, and a teacher-turned-bartender who works at The Inn in Morro Bay. The other female finalist was the co-owner of the Bayou House Catering Company in Pismo Beach. (Valerie Vicroy and her husband also own the Anacapa Barbecue Catering Company.) All were older than me. Nearly all were previous quiz show contestants.

We filled out application forms, including a “fun facts” sheet for on-air interviews. Then, in groups of three, we participated in a mock version of the game complete with “clickers.” Interviews followed.

I tried to follow the advice of the lovely Brain Bus ladies: Be loud. Be personable. Smile. Answer in the form of a question. And always, always, always, CLICK CLICK CLICK.

It’d difficult to tell how well I did, but if “Jeopardy!” discovers that they need a Central Coast contestant anytime in the next 18 months, I could be answering the call.
Let’s review at the numbers: More than a thousand people showed up at the Santa Maria Town Center tryouts. About 80 made it to the next round, and nine made it to the so-called “finals.” That means that those finalists, myself included, were in the top percentile.

Again, wow. I love “Jeopardy!” I love trivia contests. But I never, ever thought it’d be me.

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Banner courtesy of Sony Pictures. Photo courtesy of Amy Kardel.

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Missed the Brain Bus?

You can take a”Jeopardy!” pre-test online in January, or attend the live auditions held year-round at Sony Pictures’ headquarters in Culver City. More details are available online.