She Likes to Watch

This movie rocks! Concert Ts for your film favs

“I was in the music business briefly…. Roadie for Metallica. Speed of Sound tour. Bunch of assholes.”

– The Dude, “The Big Lebowski”

CineFile Video of Los Angeles has created the unthinkable: T-shirts that celebrate your favorite film directors, based on your favorite rock concert Ts.

Werner Herzog, meet Danzig. Van Halen? What about Swedish director Lars Von Trier?

The Fassbinder shirt is modeled after Metallica, the Ingmar Bergman shirt after Iron Maiden. Punk rock gets a shout with this Black Flag-inspired T-shirt honoring Hungarian director Bela Tarr. Meanwhile, American auteur Brian De Palma gets a tribute styled after — who else? — Def Leppard.

Brilliant, no? I predict that legions of movie buffs will be seen roaming Toronto, Venice and Park City, Utah, in these awesome tees.

The shirts are also available via MondoTees.com, the same company that sells such cinematic wonders as Baseball Furies pants (”The Warriors”) and Steve Zissou beanies from “The Life Aquatic.” If you want to prove your undying love for Don Knotts or “Death Race 2000,” this is the online store for you.

***

Thanks to John (of John and Dani fame) for the tip.

Shirt design courtesy of CineFile Video.

“Donnie Darko” is, well, dark

You might describe “Donnie Darko” as an anthem for the maladjusted.

Like the goths, punks and emo kids who love the movie, Donnie (Jake Gyllenhaal in a star-making role) is a teenager battling real and imaginary demons — including a giant bunny named Frank.

In school, he argues with his teachers and alienates his fellow students with his weird behavior. At home, his violent schizophrenia comes out in fights with his parents and sisters and talks with his therapist. But Donnie’s imagination is an even more frightening place.

Mixing teen angst with musings about time travel and fate, “Donnie Darko” is a disturbing, fascinating psychological thriller that blurs fantasy and reality. No wonder it’s become a cult favorite.

Watch “Donnie Darko” tonight at The Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. Showtimes are 7 p.m. and 9:15 p.m.; tickets are $7.50.

***

The popular Palm Wednesday series continues next month with:

• Sept. 3: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” 
• Sept. 10: “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”
• Sept. 17: “The Warriors”
• Sept. 24: “Total Recall” 

Photo courtesy of MovieWeb.com.

“American Beauty” takes a hard look at the fantasy and reality of modern life

Like the ruby-red roses that fill nearly every frame, “American Beauty” is much more than a pretty picture.

It’s a scathing portrait of suburbia. A drama beset with secrets and scandal. And, most importantly, an exploration of middle-aged desperation infused with one final flicker of hope.

From all appearances, Lester Burnham has the perfect life: a beautiful wife, a loving daughter, a nice house in a quiet neighborhood. It’s the middle-class American Dream.

In reality, he’s lonely, depressed and sex-deprived, an empty shell of a man suddenly feeling his age. He wants a change. He has a mid-life crisis.

So Lester (Kevin Spacey) quits his job and develops a crush on his teenage daughter’s hot friend, much to the chagrin of his family. As Lester rediscovers the good things in life — weed, working out, a 1970 Pontiac Firebird — his perfect world crumbles.

His wife Carolyn (Annette Bening), a Type A real estate agent, gets cozy with a rival. Meanwhile, their daughter (Thora Birch) becomes friends with the weird boy next door.

These are not nice people, at least in the classic sense.

Lester can be lazy and lecherous, an egotistical schmuck who cares more for his own comfort and amusement than his family. Carolyn, let’s face it, is a (b)itch.

And Janie and her friends? Despite the surly selfishness typical of teenagers the world over, they actually come across as human beings.

“American Beauty” walked away with five Oscars at the 2000 Academy Awards, including best picture, best director (Sam Mendes), best screenplay (Alan Ball) and best actor (Kevin Spacey).

It’s a moving, highly memorable film.

***

“American Beauty” plays at 7 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. tonight at The Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. Tickets are $7.50.

As you may have heard, an earthquake hit Southern California a few hours ago.

According to the Associated Press, the 11:42 a.m. quake made buildings sway and triggered a few evacuations . However, there were no immediate reports of major damage or injuries.

The quake, estimated at magnitude 5.4, was centered 29 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles near the San Bernardino County city of Chino Hills, the AP reported.

As it so happens, the quake shook the very spot where Profiles in History is preparing for its huge movie memorabilia auction.

Superman’s suit. James Bond’s cuff links. The Holy Grail from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” It’s all there.

Here’s an excerpt from the AP story by Robert Jablon:

Joseph Maddalena, who runs the historical documents and memorabilia dealer Profiles in History, was on the phone in his office in Calabasas, near Malibu, when the earthquake struck. He quickly put down the phone and ran to check on his 14-year-old son who had come to work with him as he prepared for a Thursday auction of 1,100 pieces of Hollywood movie memorabilia.

“Our building shook pretty good,” he said after discovering his son and his employees were unharmed and the building was fine.

“The window in my office kind of bowed out but it’s all right now. Everything is fine,” he said.

Pretty funny, huh?

Somehow I feel I might be responsible. I did write about the auction, after all.

There’s never been a city like “Sin City.”

Based on Frank Miller’s hard-boiled graphic novels, “Sin City” is a place seething with crime and desperation. Its inhabitants are tough guys and even tougher dames, serial killers, corrupt cops and murderous priests.

There’s snappy dialog. Brutal action. In short, this is modern film noir at its finest.

The movie employs state-of-the-art digital technology to mirror Miller’s stylized comics, depicting everything in glorious black-and-white with shocking splashes of color.

Robert Rodriguez, who shared directing duties with Miller and Quentin Tarantino, also helped write the deliciously dark score.

Catch “Sin City” tonight at 7 or 9:15 p.m. at the Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. Tickets are $7.50.

***

If crooks and gun-toting hookers aren’t your thing, try the classic romantic movie “Sleepless in Seattle.”

When his eight-year-old son Jonah calls into a late-night radio show, scores of women across the nation hear Sam Baldwin’s story of love and loss.

One of them is Annie Reed (Meg Ryan), an East Coast gal who’s looking for real romance.

Sam (Tom Hanks) thinks Annie is just another lovelorn woman.

His son thinks she’s perfect. Inspired by the doomed lovers in “An Affair to Remember,” he arranges for the would-be couple to meet at the top of the Empire State building on Valentine’s Day.

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan spend just two minutes of screen time together, but they have solid chemistry as the wounded widower and the optimistic single gal both looking for “the one.”

They played another on-screen couple years later in “You’ve Got Mail,” a high-tech remake of “The Shop Around the Corner.”

“Sleepless in Seattle” plays tonight at 8 p.m. at the Dolphin Bay Resort and Spa, 2727 Shell Beach Road in Shell Beach.

Free lawn seating begins at 7:30 p.m.

Moviegoers also have the option of a three-course dinner served on the patio, starting at 7 p.m. That costs $49 per person, plus tax and gratuity. Reservations are required.

Call 773-8900 for more information.