Women of “Watchmen”? Meet the lovely ladies of “The Spirit”

Remember my rants and raves about “Watchmen”?

This week, I’m turning the focus to another comic book-turned-blockbuster, “The Spirit.” It’s based on Will Eisner’s innovative series about a masked crime-fighter who essentially returns from the dead.

As director Frank Miller explains in this MTV Splash Page featurette, The Spirit (played by Gabriel Macht) has “quite an eye for the ladies.” That’s pretty evident in every trailer, poster and promotional clip for the film, which bank on the eye candy appeal of actresses like Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes.

The women of “The Spirit” are:

• Sand Saref (Eva Mendes): A spy, jewel thief and former lover of the Spirit
• Silken Floss (Scarlett Johansson): A sexy secretary allied with The Octopus (Samuel Jackson)
• Lorelei Rox (Jaime King): A singing siren known as “The Angel of Death”
• Plaster of Paris (Paz Vega): A knife-wielding femme fatale
• Morgenstern (Stana Katic): A cute cop with a very big gun
• Ellen Dolan (Sarah Paulson): The daughter of Police Commissioner Dolan and the Spirit’s “one true love”

It’s hard to tell it’s Eisner or Miller speaking when the Spirit rhapsodizes “All I see is women, amazing, lovely creatures.” As fans of “Sin City” and “300″ know, ol’ Frankie has a certain taste for luscious babes in revealing outfits … and he doesn’t really care who knows it.

That’s frankly (haha) what bothers me about “The Spirit.”

While “Watchmen” director Zack Snyder seems to have a pretty healthy respect for his subject material, Miller appears to be molding “The Spirit” in his own image — mixing the guns, grit and bold cinematography of “Sin City” with Eisner’s beloved comic.

He’s upping the sex, upping the violence and potentially upping the ante. And the inclusion of certain actors (Johansson, Jackson) could heap on the cheese.

It just makes me nervous, albeit all the more eager to see “The Spirit” on Christmas Day.

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Tonight, aliens blow up the White House

“Independence Day” seems like an odd choice for a November movie screening.

As a holiday and a film, “Independence Day” is tied pretty closely to the fight for “liberty, justice and the American way.” It’s stirring, patriotic and action-packed. It’s got fighter pilots going against aliens mano a mano.
After all, the mega-popular flick did open in theaters July 3, 1996.

When an alien invasion wipes out Washington D.C., Los Angeles and New York City, a forlorn group of survivors led by President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) meet in the Nevada desert to launch a desperate counter-attack. Their only hope lies in the plan hatched by a cocky Marine pilot (Will Smith), a computer whiz (Jeff Goldblum) and a goofy Kansas crop-duster (Randy Quaid).

“Independence Day,” which won an Oscar for its stunning visual effects, ushered in a whole crop of alien invasion and disaster flicks like “Armageddon” and “Dante’s Peak.”

It also launched the grand tradition of the Will Smith Summer Blockbuster — ensuring that Smith would churn out a best-selling blockbuster every summer ad infinitum. He’s delivered on that promise with “Men in Black,” “Bad Boys II” and “I, Robot,” following up this July with the lukewarm “Hancock.”

(”Hancock,” about a hard-living superhero, pulled in $62.6 million when it hit theaters. In contrast, “Independence Day” grossed $50 million — in 1996 dollars! — during its opening weekend and has raked in $817.4 million in worldwide box office receipts so far.)

“Independence Day” screens tonight at 7 p.m. at the Fremont theater, 1025 Monterey St. in San Luis Obispo. Show up a half-hour early for trivia and prizes.

Tickets are $7.50.

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Image courtesy of this blog. Thanks, Dr. Richard Parent at the University of Vermont!

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Ever wonder what inspired that Kenny Loggins tune, “Footloose”?

Turns out it had something to do with Jimmy Buffett, machetes and Malibu rum. At least, that’s what “Yacht Rock,“ the winning Web series about soft rock stars in the 1970s and ’80s, would have us believe.

Created by J. D. Ryznar and Hunter D. Stair, “Yacht Rock” imagines the stories behind some of the era’s biggest hits, featuring fictionalized versions of mega-acts Hall & Oates, Steely Dan, The Doobie Brothers and Michael McDonald.

Episodes are hosted by “Hollywood” Steve Huey, a music critic for the online All Music Guide.

It’s fun and a little freaky, with intentionally poor production values and a deranged cast. If you remember this music — either with nostalgia or puking disdain — you’ll enjoy “Yacht Rock.”

Channel 101 canceled “Yacht Rock” after 10 episodes, but the show came back earlier this year for a sweet special episode about — you guessed it — “Footloose.”

Ryznar and Stair star as McDonald and Loggins alongside Jason Lee of “My Name is Earl” (playing a shaggy-haired Kevin Bacon) in the goofiest explanation for a hit single ever.

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A note to viewers: Salty language makes the show decidedly not safe-for-work, so wear headphones or check out “Yacht Rock” on your free time.

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AURIC GOLDFINGER: “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!”

– “Goldfinger” (1965)

“Bond, James Bond” and other quotes

Bond fans are sticklers for tradition.

In each film depicting the dashing, deadly British secret agent, we expect to see fast cars, flashy gadgets and lovely girls with ridiculous names. We clamor for underwater lairs and dry martinis, “shaken, not stirred,” of course.

Most importantly, however, we want our Bond quotes.

Bond quotes, those juicy one-liners that punctuate plots like so many bullet holes, are what stick in moviegoers’ heads long after we’ve forgotten the fight scenes and car chases.

When James Bond quips “I think he got the point” after shooting a baddie with a speargun in ” Thunderball,” we chuckle. When he mutters “Oh, the things I do for England” whilst making love in “You Only Live Twice,” our sympathies are heartfelt.

Typical quotes thrive on sexual innuendo, situational comedy and (usually awful) puns. And they’re not always uttered by 007.

Although 2006’s “Casino Royale” offered a few bon mots, I’m hoping that “Quantum of Solace” will up the ante with snappier dialog. I need something that will make me sound clever at parties.

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What’s your opinion of Daniel Craig, the latest man to don James Bond’s tuxedo?

I see him as a return to the cold-blooded killer in Ian Fleming’s novels, a Steve McQueen lookalike with guts, grit and a certain grim wit. Others, however, long for Sean Connery’s charm, Roger Moore’s good-humored grin, Timothy Dalton’s oh-so-’80s sensitivity or the sleek security of Pierce Brosnan.

In a recent Wall Street Journal article, Allen Barra defends Craig’s title as the real James Bond. He is Fleming’s “blunt instrument,” not a smooth, suave, impeccably dressed ladies’ man.

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Here’s my take on “Appaloosa,” “RocknRolla” and “W.”

I watch a lot of movies. A lot of movies. So many, in fact, that I’ve fallen badly behind in actually writing about them.

Since it’s difficult to find time for full-fledged reviews, I’ve settled on a compromise: Mini-reviews that give a clear, concise take on the latest titles.

Here are three brief reviews of films currently playing in theaters.

“Appaloosa”

Sixty years ago, moviegoers would have loved “Appaloosa.”

Co-written and directed by star Ed Harris, “Appaloosa” follows two gunslingers who ride into town to take care of business — namely, the murderous rancher who’s been hassling the locals.

Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) keeps our heroes busy enough, but there’s more trouble on the way. It comes in the form of a winsome young widow (Renee Zellweger, looking perpetually puckered) who sets her sights on one buckeroo, then the other.

“Appaloosa” explores the friendship between Virgil (Harris) and Everett (Viggo Mortenson), exploring themes of loyalty, pride and purpose.

It’s the kind of solid film that would have appealed to moviegoers reared on John Wayne and Gary Cooper.

This is the 21st century, however, and the much-examined Western has moved past majestic sunsets and strict moral codes. In the face of films like “The Wild Bunch,” “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” and “Unforgiven,” “Appaloosa” feels a mite musty.

“RocknRolla”

Director Guy Ritchie is back with a crime caper that captures some, if not all, of the frenzied energy of “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and “Snatch.”

Like its predecessors, “RocknRolla” features a typically convoluted plot, this time centered around a multi-million-pound real estate scam engineered by London crime boss Lenny (Tom Wilkinson) and his supposed prey, a Russian billionaire.

Lenny’s crafty accountant Stella (Thandie Newton) wants a piece of the action. His estranged son, a drug-addled rock star, wants to make trouble. The low-level crooks who owe Lenny money, One Two (Gerald Butler) and Mumbles (Idris Elba), just want to save their skins.

Fans will spot several familiar elements in “RocknRolla”: a Cockney voiceover (courtesy of Mark Strong), unkillable thugs, a gangster with an unusual method of torturing people and an irresistible McGuffin. Yet despite the usual guts and gunplay, Ritchie keeps the mood light and fun — tempering darker elements with a very silly dance number.

“W.”

Ambitious at points and downright boring at others, Oliver Stone’s “W.” is a surprisingly sympathetic portrait of a controversial president.

Josh Brolin portrays George W. Bush as a man desperate for approval from his stern father and his peers.

Stone spends plenty of time detailing Bush Jr.’s transformation from hard-drinking, hard-partying frat boy to born-again Christian conservative, yet glosses over some of the most important elements of his presidency.

We witness the Gulf War but only get glimpses of the current conflict in Iraq. We watch Bush Sr.’s 1992 presidential but skip his son’s controversial journey to the White House in 2000 and 2004. Hurricane Katrina, Homeland Security and the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks also get short shrift.

Brolin is uncanny as George W. Bush, but the cabinet of actors backing him is more uneven. For every devious Dick Cheney (Richard Dreyfuss) and conflicted Colin Powell (Jeffrey Wright), there’s a strident, scenery-chewing Condoleeza Rice (Thandie Newton).

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Photo courtesy of MovieWeb.com.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctm704oF000

When it comes to major movie events, I like to play it cool.

I stay away from fan sites. I avert my eyes from teasers, television specials and Variety articles. And I avoid spoilers — oh, those dreaded spoilers — at all possible costs.

The reason is simple: The higher the hype, the higher the potential for crushing disappointment. Sure, my strategy has worked better in some cases (”The Dark Knight”) than others (”Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”). But it generally does work.

That makes avoiding a movie like “Watchmen” all the harder.

Based on the acclaimed graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, “Watchmen” appears to be one of those rare Hollywood beasts — a lovingly crafted, meticulous researched epic with all the elements of a science-fiction classic. The film, set to open in theaters in March 2009, boasts “300″ director Zack Snyder, spookily good special effects and an extremely talented (not to mention good-looking) cast including Billy Crudup, Carla Gugino, Patrick Wilson and Jackie Earle Haley.

Beautiful characters. Beautiful sets. A dynamite plot. All based on the one of the best graphic novels — heck, one of the best novels, period — of the 20th century. How could I resist?

Science fiction hub i09.com has been following “Watchmen” from the beginning, releasing tasty tidbits such as set photos, costumes and  footage of Nite Owl’s awesome Owlship. Heck, it even snagged a snapshot of the comic’s original team of crime-fighters, The Minutemen.

One of my favorite featurettes so far has been “Girls Kick Ass,” a look at the lovely ladies of “Watchmen.” Carla Giguno and Malik Akerman star as Sally Jupiter (aka Silk Spectre) and her daughter Laurie, respectively, and man, do they look good.

Warner Brothers deserves part of the credit for the beautiful posters, photos and other promotional material they’ve created for “Watchmen.” As with “The Dark Knight,” the studio is doing a great job of teasing and titillating moviegoers.

Is it any wonder I’ve grown a bit obsessed?

I have to resist. I have to avoid the hype.  But in the case of “Watchmen,” I really really want to believe it.

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This week’s screenings include romance, action and documentaries

It’s a busy week for cinephiles here on the Central Coast.

We get off to a thoughtful start tonight with “Zeitgeist: Addendum.”

Directed by Peter Joseph, the documentary attempts to find the root causes of humanity’s “social corruption” while offering solutions. It’s a sequel to 2007’s “Zeitgeist: The Movie,” the controversial film that drew links between religion, the Federal Reserve and the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks.

“Zeitgeist Addendum” will be screened at 7 p.m. tonight at the San Luis Obispo City-County Library, 995 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. A $5 donation is suggested; the screening is sponsored by HopeDance Magazine.

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Theater lovers and romantic-minded moviegoers will want to watch “Shakespeare in Love” Wednesday in Cambria.

Joseph Fiennes stars as William Shakespeare, a promising young playwright who’s battling writer’s block and the throes of romantic love. When he meets Lady Viola (Gwyneth Paltrow), he finds the inspiration for his greatest work, “Romeo and Juliet.”

The 1998 film won seven Academy Awards, including best picture, best screenplay, best score and best actress for Paltrow. Dame Judi Dench, who plays Queen Elizabeth I, snagged a supporting actress statuette.

Wednesday’s screening is sponsored by a new group known as The Cambria Shakespeare Lovers. It starts at 7 p.m. at the Theatre at the Old Grammar School, 1350 Main St. in Cambria.

Tickets are $4, with proceeds benefiting the Allied Arts Association. Call 927-1053 for more information.

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Another HopeDance film on Wednesday is aimed at foodies and folks interested in green living.

“Establishing a Food Forest” uses forests as a model for sustainable farming. In this documentary, created by the Permaculture Research Institute of Australia, managing director Geoff Lawton talks about the basics of “keep(ing) your forest productive” — including legumes, fungi, chickens and weed and pest control.

Watch “Establishing a Food Forest” at 7 p.m. Wednesday at Dancing Deer, 2975 Vineyard Dr. in Templeton.

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Also on Wednesday is one hell of a double feature: “Mad Max” and “The Road Warrior.”

Set in the apocalyptic wastelands of Australia, both films follow a leather-clad cop (Mel Gibson) who becomes an outlaw when members of a vicious road gang kill his wife and child and torch his best friend. With his shotgun and his dog at his side, Max wreaks his violent vengeance on a world gone mad.

The fun starts at 7 p.m. Wednesday at The Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. Tickets are $10.

(While you’re in the Mad Max mood, check out these awesome posters over at Mondotees.com. “Mad Max” (seen above) is by Billy Perkins while the incredibly detailed “Road Warrior” poster is by Tyler Stout. I think they capture the film perfectly.)

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We wind the week up with yet another double feature.

Hearst Castle’s National Geographic Theater offers moviegoers “the big picture” Friday and Saturday.

The IMAX-style theater will show two large-format favorites on its massive screen, “The Living Sea” and Everest.” Each documentary features stunning visuals and never-before-seen treasures — “from the bottom of the ocean to the top of the world.”

The double feature will be screened at 7 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. Hearst Castle is located off Highway 1 just north of San Simeon.

Tickets for the special screening, presented by the Cambria Education Foundation, are $10 for adults and $5 for children 12 and under. Call 924-1500 for more information.

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These days, it’s popular to describe a novel as being “cinematic.”

Such books usually boast thrilling action and compelling plots. They contain vivid descriptions, exciting twists and punchy dialog — if not necessarily the most subtle or fleshed-out characters.

Michael Crichton’s novels, and his movies, certainly fall under that criteria.

Crichton, the author of “Jurassic Park” and “The Andromeda Strain,” died last week at age 66. An anthropologist, doctor and filmmaker who published his first novel while at Harvard Medical School, he pioneered the techo-thriller genre, wrote more than a dozen best-sellers and and created the hugely successful medical drama “ER,” which ends its 15-season run next spring.

His books invariably became box office blockbusters.

So what gives a movie that special Michael Crichton touch? Here’s a sampling of the his best-known film projects, starting with 1971’s “The Andromeda Strain.”

“The Andromeda Strain” (1971): Scientists scramble to find the cure to a deadly alien virus. This sci-fi classic was remade as a 2008 television special.

“Westworld” (1973): Killer robots (including Yul Brynner!) run amuck in a Wild West theme park. “Boy, have we got a vacation for you.”

“The Terminal Man” (1974): Brilliant computer scientist Harry Benson (George Segal) turns violent after a head injury.

“The Great Train Robbery” (1979): Two criminals (Sean Connery and Donald Sutherland) plan a daring heist in Victorian England.

“Runaway” (1984): In the near future, a police officer discovers a plot to create homicidal robots. Save us, Tom Selleck!

“Jurassic Park” (1993): Question: What could be cooler than real, live dinosaurs terrorizing kids and eating lawyers? Answer: Nothing. “Jurassic Park” is Michael Crichton at his most awesome.

“Rising Sun” (1993): When a woman is found dead in the offices of a Japanese corporation, it’s up to a police detective (Wesley Snipes) and a retired expert (Connery, again) to solve the crime.

“Disclosure” (1994): Crichton got in hot water for this sexual harrassment tale about an executive (Demi Moore) who sets out to ruin her happily married co-worker (Michael Douglas).

“Congo” (1995): Assorted oddballs in search of African diamond falls prey to vicious gorillas. Yes, “Congo” is a terrible film, but the movie’s quirky humor and goofy plot make it strangely enjoyable.

“Twister” (1996): Storm chasers follow record-breaking tornadoes across the state of Oklahoma. Pure fun.

“Sphere” (1998): A team of scientists exploring an ancient spaceship discovered on the floor of the Pacific Ocean get more than they bargained for.

“The 13th Warrior” (1999): A Muslim ambassador(Antonio Banderas) comes to the aid of Vikings battling unspeakable monsters in this retelling of the ancient “Beowulf.” Based on Crichton’s “Eaters of the Dead.”

“Timeline” (2003): Archeology students travel back in time to the 14th century, only to be trapped in a medieval war between England and France.

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Above photo by Jim Cooper of The Associated Press.

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Simon Pegg to Hollywood: Zombies don’t run!

Simon Pegg knows a thing or two about zombies.

In “Shaun of the Dead,” Pegg and his best mate (Nick Frost) fought off hordes of hungry undead. In “Hot Fuzz,” the duo took on an entire village of evil English villagers.

Pegg has even appeared in two thrillers crafted by his horror movie idol, George Romero: “Land of the Dead” and “Diary of the Dead.”

So when Pegg reviewed “Dead Set,” a five-part BBC miniseries about a zombie outbreak in London, he had some harsh things to say about the sprinting, shrieking “zombies” who munch on reality-show fans.

Namely, zombies don’t run.

“I know it is absurd to debate the rules of a reality that does not exist,” Pegg admits, “but this genuinely irks me. You cannot kill a vampire with an MDF stake; werewolves can’t fly; zombies do not run.”

As he points out, zombies are in essence reanimated corpses resurrected through some combination of black magic, mad science and mere accident. They’re sad, shambling creatures, driven by an insatiable appetite for plump, juicy brains.

“Death is a disability, not a superpower,” Pegg argues. “It’s hard to run with a cold, let alone the most debilitating malady of them all.”

Pegg may be a zombie traditionalist but he’s not exactly in the majority.

By all accounts, the trend for fast zombies started in 2002 with Danny Boyle’s “28 Days Later.”

“28 Days Later” pits a handful of survivors against frighteningly fast folks infected by an incurable virus known as “rage.” They’re not technically zombies, since they’re still alive, but these monsters share all the other characteristics of the walking undead: They’re scary. They’re blood-thirsty. And they’re nigh unstoppable.

“From that point on it was difficult to return to the old-school shambling George Romero zombies of yore,” “Dead Set” creator Charlie Brooker admitted in a Guardian interview. “They’re dumb and they can run? Brilliant.”

With “Dead Set,” he promises a darkly comic horror show with plenty of blood and guts.

“If nothing else, Dead Set should set some new benchmark (or low point, depending on your point of view) for onscreen gore,” Brooker said. “There’s no point making a (PG-13) zombie flick. Money shots, that’s what you want. And that’s what you’ll get. I sincerely hope some of you vomit.”

You can watch “Dead Set” for free here. Enjoy.

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As “The Incredible Hulk” shows, Edward Norton excels at Jekyll-and-Hyde roles

I’ll admit it. When I heard that Edward Norton was starring in “The Incredible Hulk,” I had my doubts.

For starters, Norton is a tall, nebbish actor known more for smarts and swagger than kicking butt. He tends to star in anguished dramas and politically minded polemics — films closer to Ang Lee’s angst-ridden “Hulk” than most superhero romps. In other words, Norton doesn’t exactly scream “action star.”

Watching “The Incredible Hulk” this summer, however, I realized that Marvel couldn’t have made a better choice.

Directed by Louis Leterrier, “The Incredible Hulk” showcases Norton’s uniquely chameleon-like talent. As Dr. Bruce Banner, he’s a mild-mannered scientist searching for a cure. As the Hulk, he’s a wounded, confused monster grasping at his lost humanity.

“The Incredible Hulk” is now available on video.

Here are four other roles that show off Norton’s split personality.

“Primal Fear” (1996)

It’s the film that made Norton’s career.

When the archbishop of Chicago is found brutally murdered, the only suspect is Aaron Stampler (Norton), a soft-spoken Southern altar boy with no alibi and one hell of a potential motive.

He claims he’s innocent. Defense attorney Martin Vail (Richard Gere) claims his client is innocent. So who killed Archbishop Rushman?

Edward Norton, looking far younger than his 28 years, pulls the filmic equivalent of a hat trick in “Primal Fear” — effortlessly luring the audience into one assumption and then pulling the rug out from under our collective feet. He makes an otherwise predictable courtroom drama positively electric. He even manages to coax a better performance out of Gere.

The film netted Norton the first of two Oscar nominations; the second would be for “American History X.”

“American History X” (1998)

If “Primal Fear” revealed Edward Norton’s potential, “American History X” showed exactly what he could do.

Norton plays Derek, a cocky neo-Nazi embittered by the decline of his Los Angeles neighborhood and the murder of his firefighter father. Encouraged by a manipulative older man, he climbs the ranks of the local Aryan gang — alienating his family and winning the admiration of his younger brother, Danny (Edward Furlong, also good).

When Derek brutally assaults a trio of black men, he’s sent to prison, where he learns some hard lessons about bigotry. He returns home enlightened with a new sense of purpose — only to discover that his little brother has become a skinhead.

Norton gives a powerful, impassioned performance as a troubled young man who learns the error of his ways.

“Fight Club” (1999)

Director David Fincher had a brilliant idea when casting “Fight Club.”

First, find an actor brimming with confidence and primal sexuality. Someone good-looking, muscular, with a hidden quirk. Someone like, say, Brad Pitt.

Then cast a weedy WASP with loads of untapped aggression, a beanpole who looks like he’d blow over in a stiff wind. In other words, Edward Norton.

Norton, credited only as “Narrator,” is essential to this testosterone-charged thriller about men breaking free of the bonds of society. He’s the perfect foil to Pitt and a pretty convincing Everyman as well.

“The Score” (2001)

A standard heist film, “The Score” got more press for the on-set battle between Marlon Brando and director Frank Oz, than for its familiar plot.

Robert DeNiro stars as Nick Wells, a professional safe cracker who’s contemplating retirement. His partner Max (Marlon Brando) and a kid with inside information (Edward Norton) convince him to try for one last score.

The film itself is forgettable, but it’s worth seeing just to witness two screen giants — DeNiro and Brando — trade lines with a shining new star.

Norton plays two capable characters here: Jackie, an upstart punk with big plans, and his workplace alter-ego, a mentally challenged janitor.

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