She Likes to Watch

Though he was often portrayed as a typical California surfer dude, Kato Kaelin wasn’t ever a surfer. In fact, he wasn’t even from California.

He had ventured out to California from Wisconsin, with dreams of playing baseball at Cal State Fullerton. When he found the baseball studs at Cal State too intense for him, he concentrated on the entertainment industry, landing a commercial spot for Coke in his first ever audition in 1986.

Not long after that, he made his second TV appearance – on the lip sync show “Puttin on the Hits.” (He pretended to sing “Born to be Wild.”) After that, he landed small roles in movies like “Beach Fever,” “Save Me,” and “Hail Caesar” before a gruesome double homicide placed him in an international spotlight.

Kaelin will appear at the Spyglass Inn in Shell Beach this weekend, opening for the Unknown Comic, Murray Langston. The shows are put on by comedian Bob Zany, who often performs the Thanksgiving weekend shows himself but couldn’t make it this year.

Some tidbits from our interview with Kaelin:

• Kaelin was asked to do “The Surreal Life,” a reality show that threw several B-level celebs into one house for several days, but he had to pass since he was making a different reality show called “Houseguest” for Fox FX. “It’s just me knocking on door with luggage saying, ‘I’m TV’s Kato Kaelin and can I live here?’” Kaelin said. A pilot was made, but the show was ditched after an executive in favor of the show went to NBC.

• On the prospect of meeting O.J. again: “Maybe when he does go to trial, I’ll go up there and do some sort of news reporting. And I’m sure I will be confronted. But there’s nothing really to say. If he says, “Hi, Kato,’ I guess I would just say hi.”

It might be more awkward, though, after this video he made for National Lampoon:

• Some of the viewer comments about that video oddly veer off to a tangent about the war in Iraq. The viewers probably didn’t know that Kaelin’s nephew was killed in Iraq.

• Kaelin was also recently the subject of a recent About.com commercial featuring 200 dancing Katos.

• On doing O.J. jokes: “I told Murray I didn’t want to talk about the trial, but I’m going to now. I’m probably just going to do five minutes and get that all out of the way and talk about the stuff people always ask me . . . and just do some of the comedy from that.”

• On being a frequent guest at the Playboy Mansion: “It’s what you make of it. You can have the most wild time and be crazy if you want to, but I bring my girlfriend all the time. My friends say, ‘Why do you bring a sandwich to the buffet?’”

• On being asked to do TV shows about O.J.: “If I have something to publicize, I’m all for it now. Because it’s been 13 years and I figure, ‘You know what – my life goes on and I like people to know what’s going on.’ And I love talking about Lampoon wherever I go. I grew up on ‘Animal House,’ and it’s a tradition.”

-Pat P.

Before he ever donned a bag on his head and called himself the Unknown Comic, Murray Langston was a computer operator hoping to break into show business. When he asked what he had to do to get on the show “Laugh-In,” he was told, “Do something unusual and call us.”

So for his first ever TV appearance, Langston did an impression of a fork.

More “Laugh-In” spots followed, and he eventually found a gig on “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.”

As noted in Thursday’s Ticket, he became the Unknown Comic because he was broke and embarrassed to be seen on “The Gong Show,” where he made his first appearance for $250.

Langston appears with Kato Kaelin at the Spyglass Inn this weekend. (See more about Kaelin in this blog Friday.)

Though he never would earn more than $150,000 a year, Langston’s Unknown Comic would ironically become a household name in the 70s and 80s. And Langston would form relationships with some of the most recognizable names in show business.

Here’s more from our interview with Langston:

* For years the true identity of the Unknown Comic was a mystery – until Langston removed his bag on an episode of “Real People.”

* Being unknown led the way for others to say they were the Unknown Comic.

“I remember this one time – this was absolutely true – I was at a restaurant at the counter talking to this girl,” Langston said. “Eventually, I said I was the Unknown Comic, and she said, ‘No, you’re not,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I am.’ And she said, ‘I met him in Chicago and had an affair with him.’ So there she was having sex with some other guy, and I was left holding the bag.”

* Langston appeared on “The Dating Game” as a contestant three times as himself and once as the Unknown Comic. As a contestant, he won every time. “I had the sense of humor going for me so I always won,” he said. “But during that period, I was living with a girl, so I couldn’t go on the dates. So what happened in those days was if one person cancelled the date, the other person just got to go with someone of their own choice. So I ended up walking away with luggage and some union (money).”

* On partying with Elvis at Presley’s Vegas suite: “Every time I made him laugh, my brain would go, ‘You made Elvis Presley laugh.’ It was unbelievable. . . I partied with him until, like, five in the morning. We sat in a circle, and he sang, ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’ on guitar.”

* On Mickey Rooney: “The first celebrity I met was Mickey Rooney when I was 12 or 13. He was in Montreal, where I’m from, and he was in a restaurant . . . and I went over there and saw him, and he was fairly rude. And it was weird because ten years later, I did a movie with him, and he was still rude. And years after that I did a movie called ‘Up Your Alley,’ about homeless people . . . It was moderately successful for a little movie, and Mickey Rooney heard about it. And I get this call from Mickey Rooney – he wanted me to help him do a low budget movie. But because he’d been rude those first two times, I said, ‘Yeah, well look – let me get back to you.’ And I never got back to him. I didn’t want to work with a guy who was rude.”

* On Sonny Bono: “He was not a nice guy. Sonny Bono and Billy Crystal are two guys who have the same thing, I noticed: They don’t relate to you on a social level if you’re not at their level or above.”

* A quick Cher story: “Every Halloween I played the werewolf – I had those two hours of makeup on – and so the first time I did it, they did my hands all hairy with these ugly nails. So I walked into the rehearsal hall and Cher had her back to me – she was talking to one of the dancers – so I thought I’d scare her. So I sneak up and put this grotesque, hairy hand on her shoulder from behind, and she just looks at it and, quick as a whip, she turns and says, ‘Sonny – your mother’s here!’”

* In the 2002 movie “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” ‘Gong Show host Chuck Barris is portrayed as a songwriter, game show host and CIA assassin. Based on Barris’s 1984 autobiography, Barris has been coy during interviews about how much of the story was fabricated.

“Of course, that was all B.S.,” said Langston, who appears in the movie as the Unknown Comic. “(Barris) said he was sitting at a bar before he had his first game show, and he was struggling. A CIA guy actually befriended him and used to tell him, ‘You’ve got the kind of personality to make a good CIA agent.’ Of course, he never did, but years later when he decided to write his bio, he thought it’s be too boring so he said, ‘I wonder what would’ve happened had I taken that guy up’ and embellished it.”

– Pat P.

Comedy may be an art form, but you rarely encounter comedians who are actually artists.
Chris Fairbanks, the headliner this weekend at Bob Zany’s Comedy Outlet, is an exception.
A stand-up comic and actor whose credits include “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and Comedy Central, Fairbanks creates oil paintings and graphic designs featured in Snowboarder and Freeze magazine.
He’s currently an action sports correspondent for Fuel TV, a cable network covering sports and music. Check out his work at www.chrisfairbanks.com.

Performing with Fairbanks is prison guard-turned-comic Jim Summers.
According to his MySpace profile, Summers spent fifteen years at a guard at prisons in Soldedad and the Salinas Valley. At the same time, he kicked off his comedy career by performing after work at San Francisco coffee shops and clubs.
Summers retired due to back injuries, and now works as a comic full-time. Hear his schtick at www.myspace.com/jimsummers.

The comedians will perform two shows at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Saturday at Bob Zany’s Comedy Outlet – just days before Fairbanks heads to Las Vegas for the HBO Comedy Festival.
The venue is located upstairs from the Embarcadero Grill, 801 Embarcadero in Morro Bay. Tickets are $15.
Call 772-0716 or visit www.bobzany.com for more information.

– Sarah L.

Get ready for a funny weekend.
Standup comic Dan Grueter, a regular on radio’s nationally syndicated “The Bob and Tom Show,” plays four separate shows Friday and Saturday at Bob Zany’s Comedy Outlet in Morro Bay.
Grueter recently finished a pilot for NBC, “Be Careful What You Wish For.”
The Ohio native has also appeared on “The Late, Late Show” on CBS, “Comic View” on BET, and “National Lampoon’s Funny Money” on GSN (formerly the Game Show Network).
On his Web site, Grueter describes his comedy style as quick and clean. “By the end of his show, you’ll feel like you’ve know him your whole life,” the site said.
He’s joined on stage by Natasha Leggero, best known for her recurring roles on Comedy Central’s “Reno 911!” and the Fox sitcom “’Til Death.”
The host of MTV’s “The ’70s House,” Leggero has also appeared on “The Late Late Show,” Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend” and NBC’s “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.”

***

Grueter and his fellow comedian perform at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m., Friday and Saturday, at Bob Zany’s Comedy Outlet. It’s upstairs at the Embarcadero Grill, 801 Embarcadero in Morro Bay.
For more information, call 772-0716 or visit www.bobzany.com.