She Likes to Watch

Our heroes in a half-shell: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”

Meet Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello and Raphael — everyone’s favorite pizza-scarfing, sewer-dwelling, skateboarding terrapins.

They fight crime. They practice martial arts. They love the ’80s.

Back in 1990, the Turtles burst onto the big screen with their very own movie — introducing the world to a brotherhood of crime-fighting dudes led by a giant rat named Splinter.

In “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” the quintet teams up with cute news reporter April O’Neill and sports-crazed vigilante Casey Jones against the sinister Shredder.

Based on a comic book series by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird intended to parody more serious titles like Frank Miller’s “Ronin,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” spawned a super-popular cartoon series, truckloads of action figures, video games, three live action movies, and, in 2007, a slick, computer-animated flick that failed to really get the point of the series. (I was a bit disappointed.)

The original “TMNT,” however, perfectly captures the Turtles’ blend of goofball humor, family values and exciting fight scenes. Coupled with vintage tunes and a plot that shadows the comics series’ darker nature, it’s an awesomely nostalgic romp. Cowabunga, dudes!

Watch “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” tonight at 7 p.m. or 9:15 p.m. at The Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo.

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The Palm Wednesday series continues with “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” on Sept. 10, “The Warriors” on Sept. 17 and “Total Recall” on Sept. 24.

Hi, I’m the Joker. And here’s my card.

By now, moviegoers are abuzz about Heath Ledger’s chilling turn in “The Dark Knight.”

As The Joker, Ledger is a murderous psychopath, a criminal mastermind with no discernible motives other than the spread of chaos and fear. His voice is dry, nasal, unreadable. His body language, rife with nervous ticks.

In short, he’s downright terrifying.

In this audio clip, “Dark Knight” star Christian Bale explains how Heath Ledger immersed himself in the role of The Joker.

Click here for a clip of The Joker setting a fellow criminal straight in “The Dark Knight.”

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In other comic book movie news, actor Ron Perlman sees no reason there shouldn’t be a third “Hellboy” movie.

And Guillermo Del Toro, director of “Hellboy II: The Golden Army,” shares his secret love for crooner Barry Manilow.

Enjoy.

Consider this your first lesson  

For Batman newbies, the long, complicated history of the Dark Knight might seem a bit daunting.

Who is this dark, brooding superhero? Where did he come from? And what’s the deal with all these flying rodents?

In honor of “The Dark Knight,” which opens today in theaters, I bring you “Batman: My Parents Are Dead.”

I love how Scott Kurtz, creator of the Web comic PvP (Player Vs. Player), reduces the Batman story to its very essence. Brilliant stuff.

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Still confused?

Theme song scholar Goldentusk recounts the Caped Crusader’s origins in this song, set to the tune of Danny Elfman’s stirring “Batman Theme.”

Priceless, no?

It’s as if he’s combined the musicality of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus with the artistry of George Lucas and the lyric-writing ability of Randy Newman.

Add a thrift-store Batman costume and several hours of green screen set design, and you’ve got geeky magic.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

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My apologies for not crediting the creator of the above comix panel.

So far I haven’t been able to find the source of this funny, funny one-panel spoof. Does anyone know?

To console myself, I’ll include this link to a very Batman Christmas. Happy holidays.

Ever wonder what it’s like to attend a midnight premiere of one of the summer’s most anticipated movies? Here’s a blow-by-blow account of my journey to see “Spider-Man 3” at San Luis Obispo’s Fremont Theatre.

6 p.m. Thursday: Six hours until midnight moving showing. Ticket (purchased Tuesday afternoon): check. Knitting and David Sedaris book: double-check.

6:21 p.m.: My desire to attend the movie dressed like Mary Jane in the original “Spider-Man” wins out over my desire to be warm in chilly winds. I compromise by wearing pants.

7:30 p.m.: Boyfriend sees costume (red Asian-style dress with chopsticks in hair), expresses approval.

8:20 p.m. I arrive at the Fremont, joining about 25 people in a line stretching past the theater and Buona Tavola. The crowd is mostly male, mostly high school students. A trio of teenage boys sit on a bench beside me discussing the intricacies of Rubik’s Cubes.

8:30 p.m.: The line grows in size and age. I overhear a woman walking by with her toddler as she murmurs, “I didn’t realize ‘Spider-Man 3’ was that big of a deal.’ ”

8:47 p.m.: The night’s first heckler drives by in a white truck, yelling something like “Get over it!”

8:52 p.m.: I slouch gradually toward the pavement. My feet are killing me.

Overheard in line:
GUY: No, I wore my red Spider-Man shirt yesterday.

COLLEGE-AGE GIRL (As crowd returns hoots of passing bicyclists): Dude, I feel like such a nerd right now.
SECOND GIRL: We’re always standing in line, so we always feel like nerds.

GIRL: Skip, I watched ‘Heroes’ last night. Oh my god!
GUY: OH MY GOD!!!!
OTHER GUY: Oh my god, best show ever!

9:31 p.m.: Reaching critical cold and stiffness levels. The line now measures five or six people wide and stretches to the corner of Monterey and Santa Rosa streets.

9:45 p.m.: A couple of friends show up, one of them with a blanket. Hooray!

10 p.m.: We listen to the soundtrack to “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters” on a Sony PSP.

10:51 p.m.: A costumed Spider-Man appears on the balcony just above the Fremont’s marquee to cheers and chants of “Spidey! Spidey!”

11 p.m.: Boyfriend arrives just as theater staff announce that they’re moving us into the theater. Lucky bastard.

11:30 p.m.: Boyfriend runs on stage and performs his newly perfected “Spidey dance” to scattered applause. Yes, we’re that bored.

12 a.m. Friday: Midnight, but no movie. I can’t find my pen. Maybelline’s Plum Sizzle lipstick will chronicle the rest of the evening.

12:12 a.m.: Movie still hasn’t started. Grumbles of mutiny spread through theater.

12:20 a.m. to 2:40 a.m.: Heart swells with joy at hard-hitting action sequences, three well-conceived villains, goofy love triangle and some kick-ass special effects. Mixed feelings about major deviations from comic book. Hope there will be a “Spider-Man 4.”

2:41 a.m.: The end credits roll to cheers and a couple groans at super-cheesy final scene. (Sorry, kids.)

2:42 a.m.: Must. Sleep. Now.

– Sarah L.