She Likes to Watch

Look out! It’s another disgruntled critic!

Now that I’ve shared my opinion of “Pineapple Express,” it’s time for the stars to speak out.

James Franco and Seth Rogen shared their thoughts about stoner antics, on-screen violence and smoking pot on camera with McClatchy Interactive.

And wait, there’s more!

Here, Alan Rickman talks about the indie comedy “Bottle Shock”. Filmed in the Napa Valley, the film follows a real-life wine shop owner who pitted California’s wines against the best from France in 1976.

British soccer star-turned-actor Vinnie Jones fell in love with motorcycles while filming the hog-heavy “Hell Ride.”

Finally, “Seinfeld” star Jason Alexander considers running for congress.

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All audio courtesy of McClatchy Interactive.

Dude, where’s my movie?

I’m inventing a new phrase, friends and neighbors. It’s called “trailer betrayal.”

Trailer betrayal is the sad state of affairs that occurs when a movie trailer promises things the film itself cannot possibly deliver. Hilarious gags. Fantastic action sequences. Thrilling climaxes.

When you watch the movie, however, the dialogue falls flat, the plot limps by, and the fight scenes are cheesy, boring and overdrawn. Rest assured, moviegoers. All the best jokes are in that two-and-a-half-minute reel.

The trailer for “Pineapple Express,” the latest from super-producer Judd Apatow, falls into the same group.

If you believe the hype, Seth Rogen and James Franco are the funniest stoner duo since Cheech and Chong and “Pineapple Express” is a comedic masterpiece — a slick, smart yukfest undercut with constant laughs and great tunes.

The movie looks good. Almost too good. And there’s a reason for that.

In reality, “Pineapple Express” is an confused mishmash of stoner comedy and action thriller. Torn between oddball humor, high times and violent he-man posturing, it never quite gets off the ground.

Stoner comedies, such as “Half Baked” and “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle,” succeed when they’re silly. Really silly.

Some of the best scenes in “Pineapple Express” rely on that time-honored formula and shine.

Not suprisingly, Rogen and Franco (reunited for the first time since “Freaks and Geeks”) have an easy chemistry as a pot-smoking process server and his equally clueless dealer.

Between frequent tokes, they go on weed-fueled flights of fancy, suffer from pot-flavored paranoia and occasionally remember they’re on the run from murderous gangsters. Watching the duo freaking out in the forest or engaged in a brutal fight with a pudgy suburban drug dealer (Danny McBride) are almost worth the price of admission.

Other scenes feel straight out of a ’70s blaxploitation movie, or an ’80s action flick. (If drug czar Gary Cole and bad cop Rosie Perez were in those movies, in fact, they’d be bumping tonsils for a full five minutes instead of merely trading saucy looks.)

There are memorable lines, laugh-out-loud sight gags and lots of bro love — enough to make some of my fellow moviegoers squirm in their seats.

Any time “Pineapple Express” really gets rocking, however, an errant twist or needless subplot mars the flow.

The movie also fails to utilize some of its strongest talent. One glimpse at Bill Hader’s stoned Army private or thugs Kevin Corrigan and Craig Robinson (Darryl from “The Office”) and it’s clear that they deserve more screen time.

It could be that “Pineapple Express” is brilliant, and I’m not nearly high enough to see it.

But with a confusing plot, uneven humor and some uncomfortably vicious scenes, I think there’s a better explanation.

Screenwriters Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are simply one toke over the line.

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Photo courtesy of MovieWeb.com.

Looking ahead at August’s big blockbusters

For movie studios, August is summer’s last gasp.

They typically choose this month to unload the last few action movies, big epics and comedies aimed at a younger crowd. Fall and winter? They belong to the adults.

This August, we’ve got a fantasy adventure flick, a couple of offbeat comedies, an animated film and an American rehash of a martial arts film. Let the games begin.

“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” (Opens Friday)

When archaeologist Rick O’Connell discovers the tomb of China’s Dragon Emperor, he gets more than he bargained for: a terracotta army, a three-headed dragon and a yeti, all commanded by martial arts superstar Jet Li.

Fortunately, Michelle Yeoh is on hand to summon a skeletal army of her own. “So these are the good undead guys, right?” a character quips. Let’s hope so.

Brendan Fraser looks a mite rusty as Rick, but he’s still quicker with quips and a pistol than co-stars Maria Bello and Luke Ford — playing his wife and son.

We’ll see if Fraser can still balance humor with horror-lite.

“Pineapple Express” (Aug. 6)

After all the subpar material the so-called Frat Pack has been pushing lately (”Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Step Brothers,” “Drillbit Taylor”), “Pineapple Express” is a breath of pot-infused, ahem, fresh air.

Seth Rogan, that loveable schlub from “Knocked Up,” stars as a pothead process server who accidentally witnesses a mob hit. He goes on the run with his equally clueless dealer (James Franco, delightfully against type).

Count on Rogan and company to take stoner comedies to a whole new high. (Pun heartily intended.)

(A note: That catchy tune at the end of the trailer is M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes.”)

“Tropic Thunder” (Aug. 13)

After all the buzz about Robert Downey Jr. in blackface, it’s hard to tell just how good “Tropic Thunder” might be.

Helmed by Ben Stiller and featuring an all-star cast including Jack Black, Steve Coogan, Nick Nolte and stand-up comic Brandon T. Jackson, “Tropic Thunder” certainly has an interesting premise:

Seeking more realism for his Vietnam War epic, a director dumps his cast in the midst of the real thing.

Is this a war movie spoof? A satire of Hollywood’s self-absorbed A-listers?

One thing’s for sure. The much-hyped Tom Cruise cameo — not shown here — is sure to be a highlight.

“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” (Aug. 15)

Bryan Adams’ brilliant animated series made life tolerable for “Star Wars” fans over the past decade.

While George Lucas turned our beloved franchise into a trio of cheesy, ill-conceived potboilers, the smart, slick-looking “Clone Wars” captured the best things about the “Star Wars” universe. It had compelling characters. Action-packed fight scenes. Deadpan humor.

Leave it to Lucas to ruin a good thing.

This computer-animated version of “Clone Wars” looks clunky and surprisingly flat. Is it a bad sign when few characters speak more than three words in a row?

“Bangkok Dangerous” (Aug. 22)

Somebody needs to tell Nicolas Cage to stop making action movies.

His latest attempt — which has a long-haired Cage playing as an international hit man struggling with personal demons — is just plain embarrassing.

Cage appears to be channeling John Cusack’s post-modern hitman in “Grosse Pointe Blank.” Instead of quips and heartache, however, we get boring, cheesy musings about the loneliness of a killer’s life.

Directed by the Pang brothers, “Bangkok Dangerous” happens to be a remake of their own 1999 flick.The difference? Cage’s character isn’t deaf-mute. And he certainly ain’t Thai.

Skip it.

“Babylon A.D” (Aug. 29)

It’s not quite a blockbuster, but I couldn’t resist including “Babylon A.D” in the mix.

Ol’ Chrome Dome himself, Vin Diesel, plays a tough-guy mercenary hired to transport a mysterious woman from Russia to America. This being the future, that’s presumably a tougher job than, say, hopping on a commuter flight.

Of course, there happens to be something very special about this particular girl.

“Babylon” comes to us courtesy of “Gothika” director Mathieu Kassovitz, who pairs his futuristic setting with some rather silly action sequences and painfully tin-eared dialog.

Recommended only for dedicated Vin Diesel fans (you poor souls).

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Photo courtesy of MovieWeb.com.