She Likes to Watch

Geek identity, more than any dress code or profession, stems from what you like.

If you’re a “Firefly” fan, you dedicate your life to educating the world about Browncoats, Reavers and the Alliance. If you’re a “Battlestar Galactica” geek, you puzzle over plot twists, gawk at Cylon babes and wait, oh so patiently, for the end of Season Four. The same goes for the faithful who follow “Babylon Five,” “Farscape,” “The 4400,” “Heroes” and “Lost.”

A geek’s true loyalty, however, falls into two camps: “Star Wars” and “Star Trek.”

As far as science fiction classics are concerned, “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” have a lot in common.

Both started out as awesome shows with impressive, if slightly cheesy, special effects, fun plots and compelling characters. Both launched multi-title series that started out strong (”The Empire Strikes Back and “Return of the Jedi,” “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Deep Space Nine) and finished weak (”The Phantom Menace,” “Enterprise”).

One’s a space opera with foundations in myth, magic and Akira Kurosawa. The other’s an egghead approach to science and space exploration revolving around Star Fleet and the U.S.S. Enterprise.

So which is better?

YouTube poster D.M. Phoenix puts that question to the test with “Star Wars vs. Star Trek,” which pits the crew of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” against Darth Vader and the Empire.

How does Jean-Luc Picard’s impenetrable cool and rich British accent stack up to Darth Vader’s masked menace? Do phaser beams trump the Force?

You’ll have to watch to find out.

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In related news, Jon Stewart may very well be the biggest geek in the talk news universe.

On a recent episode of “The Daily Show,” he bragged about his Black Friday purchases: a C3-PO Bobblehead and the Lego Millinium Falcon. Way to geek out, Jon!

Thanks to Gizmodo Australia for the heads-up.

A presidential election is a rare treat, an event that — like the summer Olympics — comes once every four years. It’s a time of squabbling and in-fighting, of insults and razor-edged entertainment.

Now, with election day just around the corner, it’s time to milk presidential politics for all they’re worth.

First, I present the adorable students of the Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta. As they assure us in the above video, “You can vote however you like.”

Science fiction haven io9.com offers its own alternatives to the Obama-McCain presidential race — ranging from the plausible (terrorism-fighting industrialist Tony Stark) to the slightly more ridiculous (mixed party ticket Conan the Barbarian and Swamp Thing).

Some of these picks have appeared previously on “She Likes to Watch”, but hey, can you resist visiting General Zod’s hilarious campaign site one more time? No, you cannot.

While you’ve waiting in line at your polling place, check out a few of the many movies dedicated to politics’ cinematic side.

NPR’s political team lists its favorite election-season movies, including “All the President’s Men,” “The Manchurian Candidate” and, of course, “Election.”

According to Bob Mondello, election movies can broken down into three categories: films about manipulating the media (”Bob Roberts,” “Wag the Dog”), manipulating the candidate (”Primary Colors”), and manipulating the process (”All the President’s Men”). If this is what makes it to the silver screen, one shudders to think what actually happens in real life.

Box Office Mojo reports that the 2004 remake of “The Manchurian Candidate” is the highest grossing campaign-election movie of all time. The political thriller, which starred Denzel Washington and Liev Schreiber, has grossed nearly $66 million dollars — a cool $2.7 mil more than 1993’s amiable “Dave.”

I also recommend this Philadephia Inquirer story about Hollywood’s treatment of our commanders-in-chief.

How ’bout it, readers? What’s your favorite election movie?

Silly, scary movies close out the month of October

The fun starts tonight with Mel Brooks’ whacky “Star Wars” spoof, “Spaceballs.”

A parody of George Lucas’ original “Star Wars” trilogy, “Star Trek” and scores of other blockbusters, the plot of “Spaceballs” should sound familiar to most.

A princess on the run from Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) and his evil forces teams up with Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and his half-dog, half-man sidekick, Barf (John Candy).

Along the way, our heroes encounter wizened Yogurt (Mel Brooks), who teaches Lone Starr about “The Schwartz,” and disgusting mobster Pizza the Hutt (Dom DeLouise) .

References to 1980s pop culture abound — from video rentals and computers to Mr. Coffee, fast-food chains and movie merchandising.

I personally can’t wait for “Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.”

“Spaceballs” shows tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Fremont theatre, 1025 Monterey St. in San Luis Obispo. Show up a half-hour early for trivia and prizes.

Tickets are $7.50.

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The Palm Theatre’s reign of terror comes to an end this week with two frightening flicks: “Scream” and “The Crow.”

On Wednesday, “Scream” delivers a dose of good old-fashioned ’90s irony.

When a psychopath starts killing high schoolers in a quiet California town, it’s up to a hot teen (Neve Campbell), an ambitious TV reporter (Courtney Cox Arquette) and a dopey deputy (David Arquette) to unmask the killer.

Director Wes Craven pays tribute to the popular slasher genre of the 1970s and 1980s while mining every horror movie cliche in the book.

Unlike the half-baked sequels, horror revival flicks (”I Know What You Did Last Summer,” “Urban Legend”) and corny spoofs (”Scary Movie,” et al) that followed it, however, “Scream” tempers its gore with smarts, social commentary and self-referential humor. It’s clever without being glib, and just as fun as the day it was released in 1996.

Thursday takes a darker turn with “The Crow” –a lushly gothic cult classic.

On Oct. 30, police officers discover the bodies of a young couple attacked by a gang of vicious street thugs on the night before their Halloween wedding. Rock musican Eric Draven is found dead in the street after being shot and thrown out a window. His fiancee, Shelly, has been beaten and raped.

A year later, Eric returns from the grave to seek revenge for the brutal crimes — guided by a mystical crow.

Based on James O’Barr’s comic book, “The Crow” quickly gained cult status for its stylish storytelling and the tragic fate of its star, Brandon Lee. He died during filming after being accidentally shot in the abdomen with a dummy round. (The son of martial arts legend Bruce Lee was just 28.)

Showtimes for both movies are 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. at the Palm Theatre, 817 Palm St. in San Luis Obispo. Tickets are $7.50.

Three words: Vader for President!

I’m getting pretty sick of politics.

For more than a year, I’ve followed the merry-go-round mayhem of presidential primaries, party conventions and presidential debates. I’ve watched as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama made history, John McCain trumped long odds and moose-hunting hockey mom Sarah Palin enflamed the nation’s lust. I’ve tuned in for inspiring speeches and negative ads, “Saturday Night Live” spoofs and hours and hours of talking-head commentary.

Now, just two weeks before national election day, I can safely that I’ve almost had enough.

That said, I can’t resist joining the fray with a post about celebrities on the campaign trail. (For background, I suggest that you check out this Tribune article about showbiz types and their often-surprising political leanings.)

As you know, Hollywood stars of all stripes have come out of the woodwork to lend their support to various candidates — or run for office themselves. (Senator-turned-”Law & Order” actor Fred Thompson comes to mind.)

But what about the little guys? The folks who can’t afford national campaigns or attack ads? What about those worthy candidates for President of the United States?

As you can see in the above video, a candidate like Darth Vader has plenty to offer to our great nation. He’s tough on crime, strong on defense issues and, as a stormtrooper named Bob explains in this campaign video, dedicated to revitalizing the economy.

“Vader got me a job and a home. That’s why I’m voting for Vader.” Way to go, Sith Lord!

Apparently, this isn’t the only time Vader has run for our nation’s highest political office. He made a pretty solid bid for commander-in-chief back in 2000.

Speaking of perpetual presidential hopefuls, General Zod has also entered the race.

Platform promises include enslaving the human race, eliminating the power of Congress and the Supreme Court, and universal health care. All kneel before Zod!

Bill Adama, commander of the Battlestar Galactica, promises voters that he’ll find our ancestral homeland and battle the Cylon menace. Now that sounds like a hero to me.

Adama’s campaign slogan is truly inspiring: “I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to find Earth … but our ability to fix it when we get there.”

Why, it makes you nostalgic for the halcyon days when humorist Dave Barry and talk-show pundit Steven Colbert were making the rounds.

Frankly, folks, those are the politicians that make America great.

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Looking for some hip political paraphernalia?

Campaign.com offers T-shirts and posters for three Dark Side candidates: Darth Vader; his former boss, Emperor Palpatine; and his former self, Anakin Skywalker.

Adama buttons, tees and bumper stickers are available via Zazzle.com. (Adama’s symbol does bear a certain resemblance to Barack Obama’s campaign material but I’m sure that’s mere coincidence.)

You never known what you’re going to find on YouTube.

A dorky kid swinging a homemade light saber? Yup. A distraught teenager defending Britney Spears? You betcha. Chad Vader? Tron Guy? “Chocolate Rain”? Check, check and check.

As music and movie buffs have discovered, however, the Web site has also become an amazing resource for concert footage, music videos, trailers and film clips.

Britain’s “The Observer” has hunted down 50 of the best arts videos currently available on YouTube. They range from Jimi Hendrix and The Who smashing their equipment to Jack Kerouac reading from “On the Road.”

Some of these clips are a bit erudite for the average viewer, but here are some of my favorites:

Nirvana, circa 1988: The band, minus drummer Dave Grohl, rehearses “Love Buzz,” “Scoff” and “About A Girl” in a dingy Aberdeen, Wash., garage. Witness a raw but inspiring performance by Kurt Cobain and Company, three years before they hit it big with “Nevermind and launched a grunge revolution.

Kurt Russell and Carrie Fisher try out for “Star Wars“: A surprisingly baby-faced Kurt Russell puts a genial cowboy spin on the character of Han Solo. And Carrie Fisher turns on the husky sensuality for her Leia tryout, opposite Harrison Ford.

James Brown and Luciano Pavarotti sing “This is A Man’s World”: Sounds like an odd pairing, but turns out the Godfather of Soul and the legendary opera tenor make a good team.

The Beatles’ final concert: The Fab Four unite one last time on a New York rooftop in 1969. Awesome music. Incredible historic significance.

Vladimir Nabokov talks “Lolita”: One of the world’s greatest writers discusses his greatest novel in this two-part video. Nabokov’s Russian accent is pretty thick, but his comments on his “shocking” novel are enlightening. (Hint: He’s the chubby guy wearing glasses.)