She Likes to Watch

A presidential election is a rare treat, an event that — like the summer Olympics — comes once every four years. It’s a time of squabbling and in-fighting, of insults and razor-edged entertainment.

Now, with election day just around the corner, it’s time to milk presidential politics for all they’re worth.

First, I present the adorable students of the Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta. As they assure us in the above video, “You can vote however you like.”

Science fiction haven io9.com offers its own alternatives to the Obama-McCain presidential race — ranging from the plausible (terrorism-fighting industrialist Tony Stark) to the slightly more ridiculous (mixed party ticket Conan the Barbarian and Swamp Thing).

Some of these picks have appeared previously on “She Likes to Watch”, but hey, can you resist visiting General Zod’s hilarious campaign site one more time? No, you cannot.

While you’ve waiting in line at your polling place, check out a few of the many movies dedicated to politics’ cinematic side.

NPR’s political team lists its favorite election-season movies, including “All the President’s Men,” “The Manchurian Candidate” and, of course, “Election.”

According to Bob Mondello, election movies can broken down into three categories: films about manipulating the media (”Bob Roberts,” “Wag the Dog”), manipulating the candidate (”Primary Colors”), and manipulating the process (”All the President’s Men”). If this is what makes it to the silver screen, one shudders to think what actually happens in real life.

Box Office Mojo reports that the 2004 remake of “The Manchurian Candidate” is the highest grossing campaign-election movie of all time. The political thriller, which starred Denzel Washington and Liev Schreiber, has grossed nearly $66 million dollars — a cool $2.7 mil more than 1993’s amiable “Dave.”

I also recommend this Philadephia Inquirer story about Hollywood’s treatment of our commanders-in-chief.

How ’bout it, readers? What’s your favorite election movie?

Three words: Vader for President!

I’m getting pretty sick of politics.

For more than a year, I’ve followed the merry-go-round mayhem of presidential primaries, party conventions and presidential debates. I’ve watched as Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama made history, John McCain trumped long odds and moose-hunting hockey mom Sarah Palin enflamed the nation’s lust. I’ve tuned in for inspiring speeches and negative ads, “Saturday Night Live” spoofs and hours and hours of talking-head commentary.

Now, just two weeks before national election day, I can safely that I’ve almost had enough.

That said, I can’t resist joining the fray with a post about celebrities on the campaign trail. (For background, I suggest that you check out this Tribune article about showbiz types and their often-surprising political leanings.)

As you know, Hollywood stars of all stripes have come out of the woodwork to lend their support to various candidates — or run for office themselves. (Senator-turned-”Law & Order” actor Fred Thompson comes to mind.)

But what about the little guys? The folks who can’t afford national campaigns or attack ads? What about those worthy candidates for President of the United States?

As you can see in the above video, a candidate like Darth Vader has plenty to offer to our great nation. He’s tough on crime, strong on defense issues and, as a stormtrooper named Bob explains in this campaign video, dedicated to revitalizing the economy.

“Vader got me a job and a home. That’s why I’m voting for Vader.” Way to go, Sith Lord!

Apparently, this isn’t the only time Vader has run for our nation’s highest political office. He made a pretty solid bid for commander-in-chief back in 2000.

Speaking of perpetual presidential hopefuls, General Zod has also entered the race.

Platform promises include enslaving the human race, eliminating the power of Congress and the Supreme Court, and universal health care. All kneel before Zod!

Bill Adama, commander of the Battlestar Galactica, promises voters that he’ll find our ancestral homeland and battle the Cylon menace. Now that sounds like a hero to me.

Adama’s campaign slogan is truly inspiring: “I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to find Earth … but our ability to fix it when we get there.”

Why, it makes you nostalgic for the halcyon days when humorist Dave Barry and talk-show pundit Steven Colbert were making the rounds.

Frankly, folks, those are the politicians that make America great.

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Looking for some hip political paraphernalia?

Campaign.com offers T-shirts and posters for three Dark Side candidates: Darth Vader; his former boss, Emperor Palpatine; and his former self, Anakin Skywalker.

Adama buttons, tees and bumper stickers are available via Zazzle.com. (Adama’s symbol does bear a certain resemblance to Barack Obama’s campaign material but I’m sure that’s mere coincidence.)

Read my list: From “Condorman” to  “Raiders of the Last Ark”

I love lists.

It may the last vestiges of a Type A personality or a tiny twinge of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but I’ve always found the making and reading of lists rather enjoyable. There’s something comforting about being able to organize movies or circus performers or dried beans into different compartments.

It’s order in a disorderly world. Structure in the face of chaos.

Naturally, I tend to take my love of lists a bit too far and clog my Mozilla Bookmarks with all sorts of random crap. Why, I almost have to make a to-do list to tackle it all!

Here, in a vain attempt at fall cleaning, are a number of movie-related lists. Enjoy.

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Time Out London has the skinny on cinema’s lamest superheroes, including Disney’s Condorman, Howard the Duck and that guy from “Unbreakable.”

My favorite failure, sadly not included on this list, is “Puma Man” — a whiny, wimpy white guy who has cat-like abilities (like a puma) and flies (unlike a puma). Rent the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ version and chuckle over Donald Pleasence’s pronunciation.

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Maxim magazine lists the most abused action heroes in movie history, from Clark Kent in “Superman II” to Jesus in “The Passion of the Christ.” Dr. Jeffrey Manko, a New York-based medical consultant, assesses the damage.

Since this is, indeed, Maxim, there’s a fair amount of swear words and general crudeness. Consider yourself warned.

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Science fiction’s fake accents get a thorough tongue lashing by io9.com, which lists the genre’s most ear-piercing fakes.

While Brits and Australians tend to do a fair job of mimicking American voices (case in point: Scotland’s Kevin McKidd in “Journeyman”), their relatives on the other side of the pond are simply terrible. Canadians and Yanks apparently have no idea what the English or the Irish sound like — and they’re perfectly willing to mangle every syllable.

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Meanwhile, Brandon Nolta of CriticsRant.com has a bone to pick with the screenwriters responsible for bad movie dialogue.

He only mentions five movies here, but the Good Lord knows the list could go on and on.

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And finally, in honor of Hat Friday, here’s a list of awesome hat movies.

In my opinion, Indiana Jones’ battered fedora will always be the coolest hat in cinematic history. Of course, just donning a topper is a sign of personal style.

Love. Laugh. Wear a hat.

As you may have heard, an earthquake hit Southern California a few hours ago.

According to the Associated Press, the 11:42 a.m. quake made buildings sway and triggered a few evacuations . However, there were no immediate reports of major damage or injuries.

The quake, estimated at magnitude 5.4, was centered 29 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles near the San Bernardino County city of Chino Hills, the AP reported.

As it so happens, the quake shook the very spot where Profiles in History is preparing for its huge movie memorabilia auction.

Superman’s suit. James Bond’s cuff links. The Holy Grail from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” It’s all there.

Here’s an excerpt from the AP story by Robert Jablon:

Joseph Maddalena, who runs the historical documents and memorabilia dealer Profiles in History, was on the phone in his office in Calabasas, near Malibu, when the earthquake struck. He quickly put down the phone and ran to check on his 14-year-old son who had come to work with him as he prepared for a Thursday auction of 1,100 pieces of Hollywood movie memorabilia.

“Our building shook pretty good,” he said after discovering his son and his employees were unharmed and the building was fine.

“The window in my office kind of bowed out but it’s all right now. Everything is fine,” he said.

Pretty funny, huh?

Somehow I feel I might be responsible. I did write about the auction, after all.