She Likes to Watch

Was it just me, or did the Oscars seem a little, well, obvious?

Well-coifed actresses in sleek, off-the-shoulder gowns. Spotlights. Strings. A tuxedo-clad host with a few sharp quips. (Some of Jon Stewart’s patter felt so stiff, however, that I have to blame the Hollywood writers’ strike.)

There were no wardrobe malfunctions, no flubs, no crazed actors mashing lips with Halle Berry. (That means you, Adrien Brody.)

Sunday’s Academy Awards ceremony ran so smoothly, in fact, that it felt a tad rehearsed.

Here’s my take on the winners and losers at Sunday’s 80th Annual Academy Awards.

BEST PICTURE: “No Country For Old Men”
It’s a western, a serial killer thriller and a quiet commentary on changing times in the American West. “No Country” may be a little less uplifting than your average Oscar winner, but it’s a solid “best bet.”

BEST DIRECTOR(s): Ethan and Joel Coen, “No Country For Old Men”
No suprises here. The Coen brothers have a large catalog of clever, quirky stuff and a very loyal following — just like last year’s winner, Martin Scorcese.

BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”
He’s handsome, brilliant and willing to risk everything — the kind of actor who can turn even the crappiest epic (”Gangs of New York”, anyone?) into cinematic gold. Give him a lead role seething with rage and ambition and watch the scenery fly.

BEST ACTRESS: Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose”
Although Julie Christie could have been a shoe-in for her nuanced, touching turn as a woman with Azheimers in “Away From Her,” Cotillard went farther and blossomed more as French singer Edith Piaf.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”
Spanish heartthrob Bardem may play a chilling serial killer, but he’ll go down in history for having the worst haircut in movie history, thanks to this film.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton”
Indie darling Tilda Swinton is finally getting mainstream attention in the states — and not a moment too soon. Unfortunately, her win robbed Aussie Cate Blanchett of a well-deserved statuette for the Bob Dylan biopic “I’m Not There.”

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Ethan and Joel Coen, “No County For Old Men”
Handling the Coen brothers another screenwriting Oscar is like giving a 400-pound gorilla another banana. It just makes sense.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Diablo Cody, “Juno”
Quirky, funny and a little too clever for its own good, “Juno” easily swept the title of “indie darling” this year.
Too bad screenwriter Diablo Cody couldn’t pull off the same feat on the red carpet. With her leopard print-and-rhinestone mumu, the former exotic dancer seemed to be channeling Peggy Bundy from “Married With Children.”

– Sarah L.

ABOVE: What are the Oscars without a lovingly doctored photo from Tribune photographer Joe Johnston? Yes, I know I look like Bat Boy.

Hollywood must have a vindictive streak.

After weeks of dull, unimaginative fare, the powers that be have flooded the Central Coast with several fascinating movies – forcing filmgoers to spend the next couple weeks in dark, sticky-floored theaters.

It’s one of the disadvantages of living in a smaller movie market.
While New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Chicago get to spread out their Oscar-season offerings, the little guys (read: San Luis Obispo County) have to wait.

When they’re handing out Golden Globe nominations, we’re scratching our heads. “There Will Be Blood?” “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly?” Those won’t be here for weeks!

Meanwhile, great films like Todd Hayne’s brilliant Bob Dylan biography, “I’m Not There,” get shoved out the door before their time.

I know I’m silly to complain. Too many good movies are better than too few, right?
Right?

Either way, I’ll spend my holidays wandering from Downtown Centre to the Fremont to the Palm in a sleep-deprived daze, subsisting on Junior Mints and jumbo tubs of popcorn.
If you see my pale, listless face, take pity, ticket-takers.
I’ve got too many movies to watch.

Here’s a list of new films I’m dying to see:

“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
Director Tim Burton and his darkly dreamy cast bring new blood (pun intended) to this classic musical. From all accounts, it’s a Gothic masterpiece – equal parts “Sleepy Hollow” and “Les Miserables.”

“Atonement”
Get out those hankies. When lovely Keira Knightley falls for a housekeeper’s son (Britain’s newest hunk, James McAvoy), the result is romantic and catastrophic.

“I Am Legend”
I’m told that the ending of this Will Smith blockbuster departs greatly from the 1954 novel. Oh well. Who wouldn’t watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air battle blood-sucking monsters?!

“Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”
I’m so happy to see John C. Reilly, the reliable, potato-faced character actor, get a starring role that I’ll give this goofy spoof a shot.

“Juno”
Director Jason Reitman’s “Thank You For Smoking” was one of the slickest, sharpest comedies of 2005. “Juno,” about a smart teen (Ellen Page) pregnant by her best friend (Michael Cera), looks smart, quirky and sweet.

– Sarah L.

*** Photo courtesy of Movieweb.