Sidetracked

So I was home sick for a couple of days (Health tip of the day: Don’t enter a jacuzzi before testing the chlorine level) and found myself watching a couple of baseball games while lying on the couch, allowing medicine to seep into my ear.

During the White Sox-Indians game, Queen’s “We Will Rock You” blared through the p.a. system, which at first made me think: Oh, how original. But then – and this may have had something to do with the medicine – I started thinking more and more about the song. And then I thought about anthem hits.

Occasionally, you’ll hear someone say something about an “anthem song,” but you never really hear it explained. So I got to thinking: What is an anthem song?

Yeah, I know – this isn’t deep thinking kind of stuff. But, hey – my body was infected, okay? The next blog will be about Neitzsche.*

“We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions” sort of typifies anthem hits, though. It’s bombastic, you can picture it being performed before a rowdy, packed stadium, and it’s the band’s signature hit.

At the same time, I wouldn’t call Gary Glitter’s “Rock and Roll, Part II” — another arena favorite — an anthem hit. For one thing, Glitter’s a perv, and I wouldn’t want to bestow him with that honor. Secondly, the song just doesn’t fit the bill.

It’s not big enough.

Then I thought: “Born to Run,” by Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, baby. That’s an anthem song if there ever was one. It’s dramatic, it’s the essence of Bruce and it’s just . . . large**.

So there. We have two for-sure anthems. But there has to be more, right?

I thought about “Hey Jude” — it’s long, often played and synonymous with the Beatles. But it’s just too tame. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” is a great Stones tune, but yet again — it’s not quite . . . anthemy enough.

All right, wait. How about this one: “Rock and Roll All Nite” by Kiss. I know, I know. Kiss isn’t exactly the greatest band ever (though, as a kid, I used to lip sync “Dr. Love,” using my mom’s wooden spoons as a microphone.). Still, it has the anthem qualities — especially if the band performs it with explosions, spitting blood and all that other Kiss stuff.

So there. We have three anthem songs: Queen, Springsteen and Kiss.

But that’s all I can think of. In the history of music, I can only come up with three sure-fire rock anthems.

Can you think of any? Before you start, I will rule out the following:

1.) “Hotel California”
2.) Anything by AC/DC
3.) Country songs. (Sorry, Garth fans.)
4.) Anything after 1977

So there you go. Good luck. And remember: Chlorine is your friend.

* Subject to change

** People who aren’t full-time music critics use words like “large” to describe songs. ***

*** And, yes, I did steal the footnote idea from Dave Barry.

Posted on April 9th, 2007 by Pat
Filed under: Music