The lifeguard stations are out at Pismo Beach again, and you know what that means:
The tourist season has begun!
When those lifeguard stations resurface, I’m not sure whether I should be insulted or flattered.
Think about it: The coastal cities only provide lifeguards when the tourists are in town. So that leads to two possible conclusions:
1.) They don’t care if the locals drown; It’s the tourists (and their money) they want to save.
Or:
2.) They assume we’re such good swimmers, we don’t need the help. (On the other hand, those landlocked Fresno-ites just can’t be trusted to swim parallel to the shore once caught in the rip.)
Of course, right now the tourists might be more mindful of microorganisms
than the rips in Pismo. According to this story, experts theorize the high bacteria levels there might be related to birds, homeless camps or livestock. But my friend Dan has another theory: He blames it all on the new, upscale homes they’re building in the area.
Of course, Dan’s a bit of a socialist, so the idea of blaming bacteria (along with the general demise of Western civilization) on the wealthy has its appeal. But here’s another possibility:
CATS!
That’s right — cats are polluting the water! It’s kind of ironic, given that they dislike the water so much. But, then again, cats never were known for their swimming prowess.
If they’re gonna start swimming, though, I suggest they try now — while there are lifeguards in the water.
–Pat P.
Posted on May 15th, 2007 by Pat
Filed under: Surf stuff
Leave a Reply