So I’ve been thinking about man caves lately.
If you haven’t heard, man caves are basically retreats for the family man to get away from it all. Whether it’s a garage, a basement, den, mud room or shed, the owner of the man cave can decorate it however he wishes. And since it’s a place to do whatever you want to do (within the boundaries of the law and marital vows, of course), its a place for fun stuff, like drinking beer and watching sports with your bros.
I first heard about man caves when I read this story on the CNN web site. Most of the man caves pictured here feature bars, sports posters and big screen TVs. But those really serious about their man cave can go beyond that, with help from the TV show Man Caves, co-hosted by ex-football star Tony Siragusa.
A table made of hockey sticks? Why not!
So here’s what I would want in my man cave:
1.) My drum set. Ideally, this man cave would be detached form the house because the drums are, well — sort of loud. Maybe my man cave could even be soundproof. I have some congas, guitars, an amp and ukuleles as well, so I might as well toss them in there, too. If nothing else, it would free up closet space in the rest of house.
2.) Big screen TV. I don’t actually have one, and I usually think they’re not necessary. But this would surely be reason to get one, right? Because in my man cave, I’d have to watch the Cubs, White Sox, Bears and Bulls. And in a man cave, these things have to be BIG. Preferably life-sized.
3.) Stereo. My wife doesn’t appreciate Springsteen like I do. So whenever I have the urge to belt out “Born to Run” — and this happens quite frequently — all I would have to do is run to the man cave and yell, “Brrrrrruuuuuuuuce!!!”
4.) Surf stuff. With my surf boards nearby, I could get the Stoke just by being around them. I’d probably have to put up some surf movie posters as well. Preferably some vintage stuff — like the Duke or the Bull.
5.) Nerf hoop. This is absolutely essential. Because when the hoops urge hits you, you gotta have the Nerf ready to slamma jamma.
6.) Mini-library. Just because it’s a man cave, that doesn’t mean you have to live like a neanderthal. Books will give your man cave class so you can feel smart while watching ultimate fighting.
7.) Train set. I’m not a train set dork, but, hey — as long as I have a man cave . . .
8.) Video games. I’m not talking any of the new fancy stuff. I’m talking good old fashioned, crappy Atari games, with all their flawed programming that can be easily manipulated.
9.) Fridge stacked with Dr. Pepper.
10.) My wife and daughter. Okay, I’m a wuss. While the man cave is supposed to be a place to get away from it all, truth is, I don’t want to escape. I mean, yeah, there are moments — particularly when our daughter is having a grand mal tantrum. But I never really want to get away from them.
Got any man (or woman) cave fantasies? Be the first (and possibly only) to comment here.
Photo: Boston Globe
Posted on May 23rd, 2008 by Pat
Filed under: The World According to Pat
Do girls get man caves too?
I second the big-screen TV, state-of-the-art stereo and fridge stocked with Dr. Pepper (nectar of the Gods, after all). Any legitimate man cave would also surely include the complete works of Hemingway, Henry Miller and Jack London.
Plus, for the outdoor guy, guns, traps and fishin’ poles. A moose head. A mini-bar. You know, manly stuff.
No Ping-Pong? What about Ping-Pong?
I want an actual cave, man.
Excuse me, but am I the only one who thinks this whole concept sounds lame, something dreamed up by the most shallow and soul-dead Madison Avenue marketing men of the 1950s?
So ironic that mainstream lemmings would label this type of thing a “Man” cave when it sounds pretty much the fantasy of a 10 year old. How about “High End Children’s Play Pen”?
Is this really what some adults spend time thinking about and desiring? Henry Miller wrote about “The Air Conditioned Nightmare”. I don’t think even he imagined that by the 21st century young people who consider themselves hip would happily jail themselves into a windowless version of t hat nightmare with little more than a promise of getting to listen to Big Brother on a giant TV for the rest of their flaccid lives.
I think Hemingway, Henry Miller and Jack London would all likely shoot themselves if they could have imagined that there books would one day be considered a natural part of such a sad and symbolic tomb without a view.
And writing breathlessly about this kind of Junior Hugh Hefner crap is considered a form of journalism? And people get paid for it? Is everyone soul-dead?
David C, you need to relax and consider being tactful in your comments to real live people.
No one said there wouldn’t be windows or that they wanted to have their brains dripping out their ears with Big Brother jiving them in the background. .
I know for a fact that Pat, the journalist that wrote this piece in the playful entertaining style he skillfully uses, would be more able to create something that you would love to read out in his Man Cave (which is just a funny term–ever heard of playful language for artistic sake?) than in the forest with no computer. Or what was it that you had in mind?
Have YOU considered that those same men–Hemingway, Miller and London (a raging racist btw)– spent their lives finding ways to find an escape to create and write things that continue to feed our culture? They would have enjoyed a place that inspired them to get into the space to do the thing that filled their souls and ours.
I know you like to take the devil’s advocate side and it is appreciated but don’t do it just to do it. Make sense when you attack someone and their creative ideas.
Now, calling it a retreat instead of a Man Cave, tell us in a constructive criticism way what you would like in your space? What would inspire you and make you fell fuller living in this world that IS full of soul-dead people?
I do agree with you about the messed up state of things but not EVERYONE is part of that. Some of us are on YOUR side and we are waiting for you to express yourself in a better way that furthers the common goal of enlightenment.
How about a snowcone machine?
Wow, Big Brother? I hadn’t even thought of that! David C. has taken it up a notch, to “Air-Conditioned DREAM!”
I am working on my cave in the back room of our house. It has a wall of windows with a view of the woods, so that makes me uber-deep.
How can anyone fail to appreciate “Born to Run?” Especially once kids are in the equation? “Together, [spouse], we can live with The Sadness [youngest daughter's nickname]; I’ll love you with all the [postpartum and otherwise kid-induced] madness in my [dead] soul…”
I love the suggestion from “Christy”- the problem is that it would only encourage my young children to visit frequently and make a mess – So I humbly suggest the popcorn machine as an alternative.
Seriously, here on the Central Coast, most of us don’t have the space for the “caves” that are suggested in these articles because we don’t have basements like other parts of the country and frankly, because of that, having a “cave” usually is an indication of wealth…
After all, my “cave” is my garage which doesn’t have enough room for a car, but some space for my tools /workbench, TV and a classic arcade game in need of reconditioning.
ps: good rebuttal by “Angry at David C” for “David C’s” poor attempt.
And I quote from David C’s own Blog…
“In essence, as a country, we are quick to find fault with others but do not apply that same scrutiny to ourselves.
I was going to include the actuall context but, on second thought, I’ll spare you his elitist ramblings.
My man cave would absolutely have to have a secret escape hatch. For what, I don’t know…I just want one.
The best man-cave site I have come across has to be The Mantuary. Do check it out sometime.