Sidetracked

People around the office keep asking the same question:

“Have you seen Pat?”

You see, most people around here are used to seeing me with long hair. In fact, I’ve had my share of smark aleck “hippie” comments. And, yes, I’ve even been compared to Jesus and the Dude:

Often, in fact. But yesterday I ended the Christ and Lebowski comparisons.

I got a George Clooney cut.

It was sort of out of necesity, really. Last week I bought this new hat for my upcoming surf trip. Then I decided that maybe that hat would look better with a haircut. And then I thought, okay, well, I really need a certain kind of haircut.

The Clooney.

So now people say things to me like, “Have you seen Pat?” Because not only did I get a new haircut but apparently a new face as well.

Curiously, no one has mentioned George Clooney, which leads me to suspect that the George Clooney cut doesn’t actually make you look like George Clooney. In fact, the only people I’ve ever been compared to in my lifetime are Eddie Bird (Larry’s brother) and Rick Smith, this guy that went to my high school.

No offense to Eddie and Rick, but I’d rather be compared to George Clooney.

When I told the hair stylist that I wanted the Clooney, she looked confused and said, “What’s that?” Then I was confused because I’d been told previously by hairstylists that all one had to do was say “I want the George Clooney cut,” and every hairstylist in the world would know what I meant.

“I think it’s also called a Caesar cut,” I explained. 

“Hmmmm,” she said. “I think we had a magazine with his picture in it – let me see.”

I assume she meant a picture of Clooney, not Caesar since “People” doesn’t tend to do stories about ancient Romans. So she picked up a “People” magazine, and I thought: Uh oh. And when she couldn’t find that photo, I thought uh oh again — except more seriously this time.

“I think I remember what it looked like,” she said. And suddenly I was thinking that maybe I should just get my hair trimmed a little.

  But I stuck with it, and she pulled it off. So now I have a bonified George Clooney cut. And while no one is telling me I look like a movie star, there are no more snide remarks about Jesus.              

Posted on July 1st, 2008 by Pat
Filed under: The World According to Pat