Sidetracked

It probably has a lot to do with the weather. In fact, yeah — that has to be it.

The weather.

But ever since I moved to Caifornia from the Midwest, Christmas seems to sneak up on me. I’ll be walking around, doing what I do, and then all of the sudden I’ll be like, “Whoa — it’s Christmas?” And then I’ll be like, “Wasn’t it just Labor Day?” And then the person next to me at the ATM will be like, “Dude — are you talking to me or yourself?”

And then I’ll pretend I have one of those dorky ear phones.

But this year, I’ve determined, Christmas will not sneak up on me. I’ve decided that after Halloween, each week, something from Christmas is going to come down from the attic. It might be the stuffed Snoopy in the Santa outfit. It may be the annoying sax-playing Santa that goes off anytime you’re within 50 feet of it. Or the giant stuffed reindeer who looks more like a moose* than a reindeer. But mark my word — every week, something will come down.

And then the weekend before Thanksgiving, the tree goes up.

Yup. That’s right, my friends — I’ll be playing Christmas music before the parade. What can I say — I like Christmas. Besides, with all this financial doom and gloom we’re hearing, I need a distraction. I need something to get my mind off of deficits, CEO screw-ups, and government bread lines.

I need the Muppets, singing carols with John Denver. I need “A Goofy Christmas.”

I need bubble lights.

Because whenever times get tough, America turns to bubble lights. In fact, after tonight’s debate, I might just bring down a string of bubble lights, fix some hot chocolate, put on my favorite green sweater and stare at the lights until it all gets better.

* Insert Sarah Palin joke here.

Posted on October 7th, 2008 by Pat
Filed under: The World According to Pat