Sidetracked

Dang it — why didn’t I become a rock star?

The thing is, if I were a rock star? I wouldn’t be one of those greedy guys who kicks fellow band mates out of the group over money disputes. I wouldn’t be in it for the women eager to conquer rock stars. (For one thing, my wife wouldn’t appreciate that.) And I wouldn’t be in it so thousands of fans could adore me.

Ok, well, maybe I’d take adoring fans. And, quite frankly, I could use a few extra bucks.

 But the biggest reason I’d want to be a rock star? I’d get to dress all crazy.

In preparation for an interview with Jethro Tull singer Ian Anderson, I did a fair amount of research. And in doing so, I came across many of the crazy outfits Anderson wore on stage.

Anderson actually started out dressing in rags — sort of a transient fashion. Then he got into more of an Elizabethan-type get-up that went well with his flute playing.

But, of course, I wouldn’t limit myself to one particular style. I’d wear frilly things, like Roger Daltry did with the Who. That way your outfit waves all around when you spin your mic around, making it look like more is going on than is.

I’d definitely wear some cool shades — probably the round John Lennon kind. And I’d absolutely have to have a hat. I’m thinking nothing looks more rock and roll than a Mad Hatter hat. Tom Petty wore the hat and cool shades, which gives him extra points. I like Petty because he shatters the myth that you have to be good-looking to look cool.

A guy like Lenny Kravitz is actually good-looking and cool, so I naturally hate him. No — just kidding. He’s all right. And definitely a snazzy dresser. Check out these shades here. If the guy never played a note in his life, he’d still be a rock star looking like that.

So if when I become a rock star, my outfit will consist of: 1 frilly jacket or shirt; 1 Mad Hatter hat; 1 pair of cool shades; 1 pair of crazy, possibly Elizabethan boots (with laces); 1 faux fur item and/or scarf.

So I’ve got the outfit part figured out. Now I just have to become a rock star. Anyone got a rich uncle with record industry contacts?

Posted on October 22nd, 2009 by Pat
Filed under: Music