I think many of them — particularly married ones with kids — envision crazy parties, complete with wild animals and a stripper named Madison. They expect me to howl like a werewolf and froth at the mouth with beer suds as I recite all the lines from “Animal House” in a chanting mantra.
But, really, what am I going to do?
The first things that come to mind are pretty dull: Clean the house. Feed the pets.
PARTY LIKE A RABID ANIMAL!!!
No, just kidding. But I’ll probably watch baseball. Play guitar sort of loud. Maybe surf in the evening.
Sit in the dark and weep uncontrollably.
No, no — kidding again. I mean, I probably will watch baseball, play music and surf. But I am working this week, so things won’t be too abnormal. But the weekend — that’s what I have to figure out. Because that’s two whole days, all to me, myself and I. Not just 8 a.m. to 10:45 for a surf sesh. But 8 a.m. Saturday until 8 a.m. Monday. So I figure I ought to do something different. Interesting.
I could take a solo road trip. Do something I like but which my wife and child don’t like.
Two days. All me.
Of course, I don’t want to do anything strenuous. And, and, and — I don’t want to hang out with weirdos. Clearly, I don’t want to do something that makes me the subject of a viral video.
That might not go over well when the family returns.
But I don’t know. I’ve got five days to figure this out. Any ideas?
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