Some words should never be next to each other.
Take “wool swimsuit” for example.
Wool+swimsuit is wrong in so many ways, I have to limit the list to 5.
- Wool = Scratchy. Every sweater I got from both grandmas were like that.
- Smells like wet sheep when wet. This should not surprise anyone.
- Wool shrinks in the clothes dryer. Actually did come as a surprise to me.
- Hot, and not in the good hot way. Hot as uncomfortable. Who wears a sweater to the beach, in the summer?
- Did I mention scratchy? Swimsuits are an item of clothing where comfort is preferred over scratchy. Of course I could be speaking from a delicate man’s perspective here.
Perhaps the caption from this June 22, 1959 fashion item will change your mind.
HIGH FASHION BEACH ATTIRE … A high Empire style, pertly pinpointed with a bow, gives a gay and youthful flavor to this novelty checked knitted wool swimsuit by Gantner of California. Front-belted in white, it uses a stark white side panel for contrast, and as a figure-slimming device. An ingeniously constructed bra dramatizes the figure, giving solid support and superb fit that is matched by the flexible action of the lively all-American wool fibers. Sizes: small, medium, large.
A swimsuit trivia page quoted a survey by the now defunct Mervyn’s department store said that women would rather take a call from a telemarketer or do laundry than try on swimsuits.
According to the Vintage Fashion Guild website Gantner-Mattern was an innovative California swim and sportswear label. They were the first company to make topless — don’t get ahead of me — men’s swim suits. The style called the Wikie was introduced in the 1930s.
As long as it wasn’t wool.