Some words should never be next to each other.
Take “wool swimsuit” for example.
Wool+swimsuit is wrong in so many ways, I have to limit the list to 5.
- Wool = Scratchy. Every sweater I got from both grandmas were like that.
- Smells like wet sheep when wet. This should not surprise anyone.
- Wool shrinks in the clothes dryer. Actually did come as a surprise to me.
- Hot, and not in the good hot way. Hot as uncomfortable. Who wears a sweater to the beach, in the summer?
- Did I mention scratchy? Swimsuits are an item of clothing where comfort is preferred over scratchy. Of course I could be speaking from a delicate man’s perspective here.
Perhaps the caption from this June 22, 1959 fashion item will change your mind.
HIGH FASHION BEACH ATTIRE … A high Empire style, pertly pinpointed with a bow, gives a gay and youthful flavor to this novelty checked knitted wool swimsuit by Gantner of California. Front-belted in white, it uses a stark white side panel for contrast, and as a figure-slimming device. An ingeniously constructed bra dramatizes the figure, giving solid support and superb fit that is matched by the flexible action of the lively all-American wool fibers. Sizes: small, medium, large.
A swimsuit trivia page quoted a survey by the now defunct Mervyn’s department store said that women would rather take a call from a telemarketer or do laundry than try on swimsuits.
According to the Vintage Fashion Guild website Gantner-Mattern was an innovative California swim and sportswear label. They were the first company to make topless — don’t get ahead of me — men’s swim suits. The style called the Wikie was introduced in the 1930s.
As long as it wasn’t wool.
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And it didn’t catch on? As for wool shrinking in the dryer, I learned that lesson when I put a very, very cute pants & sweater outfit of my wife’s into our dryer and turned it into something fit (pun intended) for Barbie. Thankfully, my wife is the forgiving sort!
Hi John,
As you may have guessed, I am no longer allowed to wash my wife’s wool sweaters due to a similar accident.
She also brought up reason #6 not to have a wool swimsuit. Wet wool is heavy. No one wants swim attire with the floatation characteristics of lead.
Even though it’s made of heavy, itchy wool, it’s still pretty cute. This swimsuit would probably be best for lounging in the slightly chilly sunshine at England’s premiere seaside resort, Brighton, not dipping into the Pacific off the California Coast.
Pretty racy there. Hubba hubba. Especially that lampshade hat. Vavoom!